Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to you all.

I will be back and on my A game January 1st! just wait!! :)

One pound at a time.

I had a loss for the week- 1.0 pounds. I've decided that I'll take the losses pound by pound if I have to. I've been writing down everything I eat, on a day to day basis. Some days are crazy, and other days are very low cal- those are the days I like to see.

My thigh muscle is FINALLY better, I can't believe how bad it was hurting. It literally continued to hurt the entire week. So this week will be different, as I have tons of work to do, and I'll be studying for midterms, and working out- i hope. The busier I stay doesn't allow for the mindless eating I tend to do when I am not busy and bored. I'm kind of hoping to lose 2 pounds this week. I normally don't like to set goals like that for myself, but I have to do something. My body is all out of wack. My legs are swelling so bad, and that generally happens when I put weight on- which I have done and beyond. My socks dig into my ankles and leave indentations. I hate when that happens. I have problems with my legs anyway since the car accident I was in almost 8 years ago. Both of my legs were once broken. So, that is the issue I have, but I need to continue with the same old goals- eating better, exercising, and drinking water. I just have lack of ambition and motivation. It's my depression, I know- the medication helps yes, but it doesn't make it completely go away.

Hope you all are doing well and staying on track!

Not so good.

One day doing well, the next day in question! I started off Tuesday. I did really well with eating and exercise. My leg is still bothering me- it's eased up a lot, so tomorrow I will be going back to working out. Eating however hasn't been the best either. Yesterday was my father's Birthday. Lots of CAKE, and left over cake today!! Thank goodness it is almost gone! I weigh myself Monday, I'm hoping for any kind of loss. I'm definitely more conscious of what I'm eating, and I'm seeing more and more I have some of the worst habits. I eat a lot of take-out. A lot of things are always on the go, never planned, and always up in the air when it comes to eating. I'm trying new things. I always like squash, but today I cooked my own. Thats my plan is to try to cook new things instead of the same old stuff.

Here is the link to the Pop Quiz I took. Hopefully it works this time for those interested. http://www.drpeeke.com/popquiz.htm

Tomorrow will be better!

Drop _ _ pounds by Thanksgiving!!

I ran to the store this evening to pick up a few things that I needed to finish the rest of this week out. I was waiting in line to cash out and of course there's all those magazine's with their weight loss headlines. One caught my attention: Drop 47 Pounds by Thanksgiving! I purchased the magazine- not because I believe I can lose that much weight in such a short amount of time, but I wanted to sit down and read the article- and I did. It directed me to a link Pop Quiz! I took the quiz to discover what I had already thought, but I'm a little interested in finding out if there's ways to cope with legitimate food addiction. I don't know what my deal has been lately, but for the last few months I think about nothing but food, and I stress about what I'm eating, when I'm eating, how long its going to be until my next meal, what I can't eat, what I'm not supposed to eat. Food is all I think about. One meal isn't even finished and over, and my mind is focused on what I'm eating next! I am 100% addicted to food. I've known this for a while, I just wasn't real sure if it was a serious obstacle or if it's something that was all in my head. The more I look into it, it's no joking matter in our society, and far from being all in my head. I need to find a way of dealing with this along with everything else on my day to day schedule.

I also stumbled across another article about thyroid issues, and though I was sent for a TSH test and it came back normal- I sometimes wonder what's really going on because I very often read and hear about thyroid issues, and I feel like I have all these described symptoms. The struggle- maybe I'm looking for an excuse, but even when I try and put my all into a weightloss routine, it seems like I never get the results that others get.

Somehow, during my 2 mile walk I must have did something to my right thigh- maybe I pushed too hard in my first real workout when there's been such a lack thereof. I'm not suffering some kind of strain to the outer thigh. It causes me to limp when I walk. Other than that, I am feeling great- and it's about time for me to head to bed.

Hope you all have a wonderful healthy night!

Thanksgiving in Canada!

So, I just returned from Thanksgiving in Canada. It was a nice, much needed get away, but of course that came with a very UNWANTED weight gain. Yes, unfortunately I gained 5 pounds- ugh! the story of my life. But I know it was because of the big dinner, and the firsts, seconds, and thirds I went back for. My Aunt in Canada is such an amazing cook it's hard not to go for more! I was definitely stuffed, but I just couldn't help it!

So today I'm here once again, with my lack of effort as well of lack of loss, and I have to put my foot down- I keep gaining, and trust me- I know, and feel the extra weight. I can feel it when I go to put on my clothes and they don't zip or button, or their so tight they dig in, and I am so uncomfortable! I know because my body almost aches from carrying around extra weight. My legs definitely hurt- they always hurt from my accident in 2004, but the extra weight they carry around- they know! and it's uncomfortable, and they crack and ache, and get stiff. Time to change that.

I'm taking a stand against getting fatter! Soooo... things are going to change immediately! I got back yesterday, so I weighed in this morning. I had a goal to lose 4 pounds this month, but I want to lose the extra weight I've gained. Same things- more water, lower calories, and exercise! Wish me luck, I am going to need it!!

**EDIT**
Went for a 2 mile walk this morning around my neighborhood. Got my exercise in. Yay!

Also drank 16.9 oz of water... more to go! Another 16.9 oz (not anywhere near enough!!)

I Can do this!!

So, I'm making progress in eating somewhat better. Not so much on the exercise as I didn't get any in yesterday because I sat in the emergency room with my mom until she was moved to a room to stay the night. I then came home did a little homework and went to sleep. I was pretty exhausted. However it's not so bad. I only commited to 15 days of exercise for the month which equals out to be about 3 days a week, so I do have plenty of time to get those 15 days in. I just need to stick to it.

I'm keeping track of the foods I eat, even if their not the healthiest or most filling, and I'm just cutting back calories day by day instead of restricting myself to 1200 calories a day when I'm not exactly used to eating that way. I think this will be helpful, and not throw my body into a shock of starvation and craving everything I shouldn't be consuming in large amounts.

Food Journal:

Breakfast:
(on the go)
1 McDonald's Sausage Egg & Cheese Bagel (560 Calories per livestrong.com)
1 Medium 10oz Coffee with light cream & 2 splenda ( 80 calories per livestrong.com)
*20 oz water

Surprisingly, I am still feeling full and not so starved. My goal is to eat a lighter more balanced lunch which will be later in the day seeing as how I don't get out of class until 4:20 today and I forgot to pack a lunch- the choices here at school consisted of tacos, pizza, and chicken fingers- I steered clear of the cafeteria just for that reason- to AVOID THE TEMPTATION, and then a light dinner with healthier choices as well.

Providing my mother comes home and is feeling better, I will probably hit the gym and utilize my overpaid gym membership that I've probably only used a hand full of times since purchasing! It's rainy out, so that's why I'm thinking the gym, but I do so enjoy the walks/jogs through the neighborhood and along the waterfront. It's peaceful and refreshing.

I will of course edit and post this evenings progress when all done. Hope you all have a healthy Tuesday!

OCTOBER 1st!! Monthly Goals

It's a new month, and a new outlook for me. September was not successful at all. I started out good, and ended with a 2 pound gain. Not at all what I was going for.

I weighed in today, and it was a gain, 4 oz I believe, maybe 6. I don't remember what my weight was exactly last weigh in so I will have to look back and see.

I'm babysitting my niece today. She finally took a nap, so I was able to sit down and do a few things. I know I got at least 24 more minutes to get things done...lol she's a 30 minute napper but she's a good girl. Just a little crabby when she gets tired.

It's a new month, and this month I am looking for RESULTS. That means OVERALL.-- and when I say overall, I mean continuing with good grades in school, continuing to get my life organized, and EXERCISE. I need to get moving. I read in a book, that diet/weight loss is 80% diet, 20% exercise- I don't know. I've read so many different things, that I don't know anymore. I have to find what works best for me. I know it's definitely a combination of what I eat and drink, and moving my butt!!

October Goals:

1. Commit to working out 15 days this month.

2. Drink eight- 8oz glasses of water a day.

3. Monitor Portion sizes. 

4. Cut back on splenda, and diet drinks.

5. Lose 5 pounds (1 pound a week)

To me, these are major goals that I need to work on. I am going to keep a notebook with me, and write down everything I eat. Even if it's just a bite. I'm going to see what I'm doing and see where I'm going wrong. I can't sit back, and do nothing. I have to make changes, and go about this properly. No more starving myself- I have to eat, just make better choices. 

Hope everyone has a good October!!     

Tired Tuesday... and the cabbage soup diet?

I didn't sleep well last night. Most likely because I was stressing about my test this mornng. I think I did ok, but I definitely could've done better.

I am so tired today- the more tired  I am, it seems the more mindless things I do. All I seem to think about is food, and when and what I am going to eat- even when I'm not hungry.

So far, my day has not been the best of decisions. I've ate junk and made some unconscious decisions along the way.

7:00 AM: Stopped at Starbucks for a Grande Salted Caramel Mocha with an extra shot of espresso and 1 1/2 pumps of chocolate.

9:00 AM: Went to Tim Horton's with Brittany on break after the test to get her some breakfast. It was supposed to be for her, and I ended up with a sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit, with a bottle of water.

12:00 PM: Taco Tuesday at School- Large Beef and Cheese White soft shell taco with lettuce, tomato, and hot sauce- diet coke.

Majority of my caloric intake has been in the last 5 hours. That's a big consumption for a 5 hour period of time. I'm not happy with it, but I'm glad I am taking note to the things I am doing. I definitely need to start making these things change.

So, I'll have dinner someting light and small, and a sweet snack cuz I'm a sweet addict, like a low calorie cereal bar just to satisfy my sweet tooth, but I'm thinking it is going to be a salad tonight- if I'm even hungry.

Exercise is definitely called for. I walked 1 mile yesterday- I'm thinking I will do the full loop of the street tonight- that equals to be about 2.03 miles, and possibly some other things that I can do at home.

I'd like to use my gym membershit 2-3 days a week since it is paid for. Then I won't feel too bad about it going to waste.

I've been reading different things that people are doing, and I've heard of this many times, but I've noticed people are doing this Cabbage Soup Diet- whats the deal with that? I looked it up- it seems easy enough.... any input or thoughts on that? Please let me know.

September...

Today was the last weigh in for September, and I was unsuccessful in any kind of loss, in fact- I gained 4 ounces. I suspected this would be the case, I actually expected more, but I'm happy it was not the case. Soooooooo with that being said. Next weigh in is October 1st, and it's gonna be time to put my best foot forward. I am making my own halloween costume for a party on the 27th, I know it's not a huge difference in appearance but I am going to work very very hard to lose 4 pounds this month and keep it off, I know people are probably like 4 pounds, seriously? Yes seriously- the tricky part for me is keeping it off!!! I'm hoping for October to be a better month than September was. I'm doing really well in school, but probably because I'm not working. My parents decided it'd be best if I didn't work this year and finish this schooling up, and get a job in the summer when it's over! So I'm happy with that, though I wish I had some income for little extra things I like. So, that gives me more time to do something about this getting healthy part of my life... Eating better, planning meals, organizing my life, and EXERCISE!

Food Diary:

Breakfast:
2 eggs, scrambled
1/2 Banana
Coffee
2 tbsp. coffee mate

Snack:
Grande Salted Caramel Mocha

Lunch:
1 Sesame seed roll
2 slices turkey
1 slice ham
2 slices lorraine swiss (my favorite mmm)
1 tbsp mayo
1 tbsp spices sub oil
1 cup BBQ frito's
4oz Canada Dry Ginger Ale

Dinner:
1/2 Chicken Souvlaki w/ feta
1/4 Greek dressing (its a lot, but it was poured over the entire salad, not just the portion i ate)
8oz Cherry Coke

In all, eating today wasnt so great. I should've probably made some better choices given I could've skipped sodas for bottles of water. Tomorrow will be better

Walked 1.09 miles today.

EDIT (9/25)
Last night I was stressing about my test at 8am, and without even realizing it, I went to the kitchen for a drink and ate 4 Oreo's and a Brownie- NOT GOOD, that is my comfort, coping mechanism in most situations. That needs to stop- I need to stop and think before I put something in my mouth!!!

Where does the time go?

Days used to seem like they lasted forever. Now, they fly by so fast. It's already the end of September, and I haven't had much success. I get motivated, and then I lose it! Fact is, I have to force myself. I need to force myself to drink water, force myself to exercise, and force myself to eat better. I make little changes here and there, buying low fat, light or fat free instead of the regular brands... but its not enough.

Last week I had a 4.0 pound gain and I have no idea why! I know i wasn't exercising, but I surely was not eating badly and when it came time to weigh in I was up 4.0 pounds, those are the days I throw in the towel and say the heck with it, and eat bad- just like I did this past week. Now I'm feeling like crap. Now I feel sluggish, run down, and blah! Tomorrows weigh in and I'm expecting a gain, so I won't be too disappointed when the numbers go up.

Tomorrow starts a new week, so I'll be making the effort to once again make better choices, and I have to exercise. I'm going to try to walk for 30 mins everyday. I need to do something.

Pray for me!

*sigh*...

I often look and read other people's blogs, and it makes me want to try the plan they follow. Everyone seems to be doing weight watchers, then I remember what my point limit is, and I look through the book, and look up the things I like to eat, and then I get disappointed and discouraged when I see how much some foods are in points! One meal I love and only get occasionally is the famous bowl from KFC- 17 points... and then I get fed up.

I love the idea of low carb because I felt better and full, and had energy, and I'm a meat eater- so it was great! Then there came the issue of summer and wanting ice cream, and I love bread and potatoes and so many of the forbidden carbs!! I got discouraged there when the avg person lost 9-10 pounds the first week...and me, I only lost 5, and then maybe 1 pound there after.

What to do, what to do.... It's always the issue. I love food, but how can I possibly cut back on my caloric intake, and increase my exercise?? I just don't know. I start off my day pretty well, then by mid afternoon, I'm way off track. I have to figure out what will work for me, and being able to eat what I like, but in moderation instead of settling for "diet foods"- I ordinarilly don't eat rice cakes, so why waste the money on them when they just sit in the cabinet- oh yeah, i forgot i read a plan that said they were good for a snack. I need to eat better well balanced meals, I know. But it sucks!

Anyhoo, I won't stress over that right now. I'll figure something out.

I was hired for a job- I went yesterday to the orientation, and well- lets just say that job is completely and totally not for me. After discussing it with my parents, they said to let the place know, I won't be working for them. I came home, and ate myself into a food coma because it stressed me out so bad, and as an emotional eater thats what I did! The schedule they wanted me to work, on top of nursing school was out of this world. I get out of class at 4:30 on some days (today for example) so they wanted me to work from 5pm until 12am, all throughout the week. Mind you I have 8am classes, and 7am clinicals, so after being expected to work until 12am, I would still have to come home and do homework or study and then be expected to get up at 5:30 in the morning to get ready and make it to my 7am clinical. They said a bunch of times they'll work around my class schedule, great! but do you know anyone in nursing school, or who has gone through nursing school? it's not the average college curriculumn. It is severely time consuming, and entails a lot of reading, research and work! With a schedule like that during the week- WHEN DO I HAVE TIME TO SLEEP?!!!!??? This was one of the problems last semester, other than some personal issues, I worked a full time overnight job which severely interfered with my grades. I need something simple, I don't mind working the weekends, but give me a break. I am by no means at all Super Woman. I'll look for something else in the meantime, maybe a little restaurant or coffee shop, or something like that. Something that allows me to leave at a reasonable hour and still have time to do homework and gives me time for myself.

Since I'm only dealing with school at the current moment, that will definitely give me time to work on getting healthy and finding different activites that I will enjoy and allow me to drop some pounds, lose some inches, and get fit. Getting healthy and working out can be a full time job in itself, let alone everything else I am trying to do.

Just for now, I am trying to set a small goal. I want to get out of the 200's. My effort is going to focus on getting out of that range of numbers, and I say small because I don't totally have that many pounds to lose to get there, but I want a 1 starting my weight, NOT A 2!! I ultimately want to get healthy and feel better, so weight loss isn't my exact focus, but it will be a big plus. I have some health issues, and I need to build myself up, so those issues don't get out of hand.

Well, off to class. Hope you all have a fabulous weekend!

Morning Workout

I did this workout this morning. It sure woke me up!! It was a little difficult for me because as I've mentioned before, I'm very out of shape. Not too bad though. I only had to take one break, but the regular push ups is something I cannot do, and have never been able to do, even in gym class as a child. I also have trouble with the thrust part at the end of the video but I did as much as I could do. I definitely worked up a sweat, and felt good when it was all done with.

I'm trying to do my best to incorporate as much as I can, when I can.

I still have my scale obsession. I need to hide it, I weigh myself everyday. I was up a few ounces which of course is disappointing, but yesterday, I didn't eat so well, and didn't drink enough water.

Today is a new day to do better!

Never Let Your Memories Be Greater Than Your Dreams...

I spend so much time hanging on to the size 8 jeans that I used to fit. They have some sort of memory that I hang on to when I felt good, and thought I looked good. Then I became the size I am now- somewhere between a 14 and a 16 depending on the day, and well, you know how it goes. I made the decision to get rid of alot of that old stuff. Infact, I threw them in garbage bags and sent them to my Aunt's house for her kids to wear. I didn't do it because I'm saying I'll never be that size again, I did it because I will be there again. I have to make changes. I'm so quick to give up when I'm tired, and want what I want.

I barely drink soda anymore. Once in a while I do, just because I love a pop with certain foods. I drink water, though I drink no where near enough, I make it a point to carry a water bottle with me, pretty much anywhere I go, so that I always have it with me, and not tempted to buy something from the corner stores, or the vending machines. I'm a coffee addict too. I can't seem to function without it.

I spend so much time looking at these quick easy methods where your "supposed" to drop weight quick... But I've come across a few blogs where people are losing, and show and talk about their struggles, and set backs but their still going for it. It's motivational. I need to be stronger. It's so easy for me to say oh I'll eat it now, and tomorrow I'll be better. Those habits and tendencies need to stop.  So.... I'm going to set a couple goals for the rest of the week until my weigh in on Monday.

Goals:

1. Drink at least 3 (16.9 fl. oz) bottle of water a day
2. Exercise at least 30 minutes 3 times.
3. No fried food.

I'm not going to set a "weight loss goal"- I'm just happy with losing whatever will be lost with the changes that come. 

One of those days...

I was up late last night studying for my first test of the semester. I don't think I did too terribly bad... the first test is just one of those things you either ace or bomb because you don't know what to expect from the professor, and their testing style. I may be going out on a limb, but I'm going to say I'm in the range of 80's.

I wasn't much in the mood for getting out of bed this morning either, so I look like total crap. Threw on some sweats, and ran out the door, hair pulled back in a messy pony tail, and no make up on- thats a rarity, however, the sweats are an everyday thing for me. None of my jeans seem to fit anymore.

On my way out of the house, I ran into my mothers room to grab something and stopped and looked in her mirror, and took notice to how incredibly large I look. I always say to myself, I'm not that big... but after looking in her mirror I was like NO WAY. I was in a groggy waking up process, but still- I know what I saw, and what I seen was NOT pretty. No wonder my clothes don't fit me. This is the real deal!

I did some plank exercises that were recommended by a fellow blogger/reader, and let me tell ya- I only did what I could handle, because I am completely and utterly out of shape to the max. I'm almost a little embarressed because I watched the video saying to myself, "oh this won't be too bad- quick and easy" Quick maybe- easy, not so much, in fact, my abdominal muscles are slightly sore today- not overwhelmingly sore, but enough for me to feel it a little when I move in certain directions. That's a good thing. I will have to continue with those, if I am going to make some changes.

I have to make a lot of changes overall. My McDonalds Bagel Breakfast was not the best choice, but I ate it and enjoyed every bite of it too. It sucks to love food, and suffer the outcomes of gaining the weight, and hating to exercise.

Oh well, on with the rest of my day!
Hope you all have a good one!

Monday Weigh In

I'm down another 1.4 pounds (totaling 3.4), I'm happy with that. It's slow going but it is still a loss.

I'm not feeling the greatest today. I didn't finish all my oatmeal for breakfast, and slept most of the day.

Going to try to make this week better and have another loss!

Tomorrow starts a new week... :)

I wouldn't say this week was a complete fail, but I just lack the ambition to want to work out. I don't know. Maybe now that fall is starting to settle in, and the weather is becoming cooler, I will want to walk more or do something. I just hated working out in the heat, and I'm bored with the gym- what a waste of money that membership was. I'll never get another gym membership again.

I've had some good days and some bad days eating last week. So I'm willing to take any loss, I get... I can't get upset if I'm not putting full effort into something, and I'm not because I'm not focusing on the workout portion of getting healthy, and I have a hard time saying no to junk food!

It's hard to blog everything too because I don't exactly have the time. I get up at 5:30 in the morning to get ready for school, and then I'm in clinicals by 7am on certain days, and then I'm in classes by 8am on other days. My life is completely switched around. I can't say that I hate it either, because it's actually not so bad.

I just wish I could get things worked on with my weight loss progression. Because it is very slow going.

I'll do my best to try harder this week. Tomorrow is weigh in...so I'll be sure to post!

Back and Forth...

I always go back and forth between diets, I did low carb for a while, lost a few pounds, stopped because of my health problems and lack of focus, and then of course gained the weight lost back, plus some. I bought books of The Biggest Loser, they're very helpful- however it is so inconvenient to count calories... I'm almost tossing around the idea of going back on WW just because its easier to look up point values for take out places than to count the calories of what the heck your eating in a restaurant. I like to eat at home, but I also like to go out once in a while. Ugh, it's just one of those things. Maybe I can follow the Biggest Loser plan, but instead of counting every calorie, I'll just count it in a point value. Most recipe's reccomended by the biggest loser books are WW friendly. Ohhh so many decisions. I just need to be able to do something that is going to be convenient in a sense for snacking and what I can bring to school to eat. I've been bringing things to eat at school, and its actually saving me from the horrible vending machine choices I've routinely gotten in the past.

I've definitely become a major coffee addict though. I don;t know what it is but here lately I love coffee. Eating wise, I am definitely making better choices. At least I think so. I also have given up soda. I have one once in a blue moon. Other than that I have been drinking water. I occassionally use the diet snapple and crystal light packets. Those are nice to have in handy as well.

I went and searched through some old things where I had a lost a ton of weight before, and am going to try to go back to my old plan somewhat and combine the biggest loser, and maybe ww. I want the most bang for my buck here! lol Lack of a better metaphor, but I've spent tons of money on diet and fitness books, equipment, gym memberships, etc... I want to get the most out of it.

I went out and bought a lovely desk calendar (which I prefer to hang on the back of my bedroom door than sit on the desk) and I am going to use it to track my daily events of course, and my weightloss and exercise progress as well. I had a smaller one, but it just didn't do it for me. I won it at a bridal shower, so it didn't hurt me too much to toss the thing and go back to the way I used to do things. I have cute little stickers that I'm going to use to track my progress, and etc.

From last week to now, I was down 2 pounds. I feel good about it. I'm hoping if I can work things out here, that I'll be able to go for 3 pounds this week. I'm thinking of alternating weekly trying different workout routines and gym rotations to see what will work. Obviously I need a serious commitment to all of this, but I'm feeling better, and have had much impovement in my emotional and mental life... Now I'm hoping to improve the physical aspects.

I recently went to an LL Cool J concert, and jokingly I posted a picture of him that I had taken on to my facebook saying "My husband" I found out later that the "friends" I keep on facebook were laughing at me and making rude remarks about how LL Cool J wouldn't even look twice at my fat ass. Now, I realize that, but I know I've gained weight... and these girls that call themselves friends, are nothing to write home about themselves... I've been skinny before, and yes as the emotional eater I am, and the I hate to exercise personality I have... I gained a significant amount of weight over the last 4 years. All those "friends" of mine can kiss my ass. I don't even care that they were trying to say hurtful things, but once this is all said and done, and I'm back on track... I'll be the one laughing last.

Anywho- off to class I go.

Have a great and Healthy Day!!

Another Week :) Down 2 pounds

It's hard for me to blog on a regular basis because my laptop seems to be under the weather here lately. I don't know what's wrong with it, for no reason at all it gets really hot, and then shuts off after 20 minutes of use. I'm thinking I need a new one. It is going on 5 years old, and I definitely got my use out of it!!

Last week was a little slow going, but I ate less, and I did try to make better choices. I had a loss, a small loss, but I'm starting to realize that any loss is better than a gain!

I'm trying to get motivated on working out! I have no motivation to go to the gym. I'm not exactly a gym kind of person, but I need to be, because all that money spent is going to waste!

This week is going to be much better!

I'm back to school. So far so good. I need to keep up on the readings though. I now have a part time job. Orientation starts next week. I've kind of got a schedule going, so once I get a work schedule, I will definitely be finding the time to get in the exercise.

I'm going to go for a walk later this evening after dinner. Then I'm going to sit down and do this reading... and go to sleep- 5:30am comes quick!!

I'm going to do it this week! I'm staying positive!!

Food Menu August 28, 2012

Breakfast:
1 cup Cheerios (dry)
1 medium Banana
8 oz water

Snack:
Low Fat Double Berry Muffin (Tim Hortons)
Medium Coffee 2 cream 2 splenda

Another day...

Yesterday was a little rough. I started out well in the morning, and fell off track sometime after lunch. For some reason I got into a mood where I just wanted to snack on stuff. I don't even know if I was really hungry. I think it was just the stress of bills, and applying for a couple part time jobs, and starting back to school. I need to really assess myself, and see if I'm hungry or eating out of habit, or life related events.

Today has been much better, but I honestly think it's due to the structure of getting up early, having a small breakfast, and going to class, and not having the option to sit around and snack.

I asked a friend of mine to join a couple things with me, so tonight we will be going to Zumba to check it out. It's a free class, I'm sure it will be packed, but it's going to be fun. It's at 7. Today is going to be a very long day for me!! We'll see how the rest of the evening goes, because I don't get out of class until 4:20.

30 days to a healthier me!

I sat down this evening, and made a plan for 30 days that I intend on doing my best to follow. For the first time in my life, I am choosing me! I am going to do my all and my best to stay on track with my new plan.

I read somewhere once that it takes a full 21 days to start a new habit, so I know the first 2 weeks will be a struggle, but I plan to keep it going one way or another. It's time I put some thought, time, and effort into myself, because here lately... I've done nothing but neglect myself and my needs...and trust me, I am feeling it too!

In my unfortunate summer adventures of lots of starbucks coffee, and eating out, and carnivals of cotton candy, and popcorn, and fried dough... oh I ate it all, and my clothes and my body are surely paying the price. I feel the affects of my unhealthy choices and habits reeking havoc on my body. It's time to get serious. I made a plan that starts Monday, because with the structure of my class schedule, I structured my meal plan and exercise plan around that, so this is the last weekend for me to be a little careless. I have my gym membership, so that's in check. I just have to go this weekend and do a little grocery shopping, to get a few necessities that I will be needing for the first week.

I'm getting ready!! I'm making changes once and for all!!

YUCK!!

I've totally fallen off my plan of getting healthy this summer. As summer is abruptly coming to an end this week for me, not only have I fallen off program, but I have also gained a pretty significant amount of weight in the last 2 months.

Though, my weight is always a major struggle for me, this time around it isn't going to be! My classes start next Monday on the 27th, so I will be on a strict schedule. I'm actually looking forward to the structure. I think it will allow me to better plan my meals, and plan when I can exercise.

Emotionally, I'm feeling much better. However, I'm still getting used to the medicine and it's still causing me to be more tired than usual. My medicine was increased, so that's why. I'm adjusting to the new dose, which does have a sleepy effect on me.

In the meantime, I'm using the last couple days of my summer break to hang out and relax. Enjoy these last couple days and prepare for craziness to come in this new semester.

Making progress in my personal life :)

A New Day

So Over the weekend, I continued to read through the books I purchased. (The Biggest Loser- I couldn't help myself they were in the clearance section for 2.99 each!! what a deal!!) I've decided that I would start today.

I finally feel myself regaining control of my life emotionally, thanks to the medicine helping me. I'm considering some research on meditation and yoga to help with my mental and emotional state as well. I feel as though I am starting over new. I'm starting to get things in order, Little by little with my life.

I'm going to redesign my blog. delete some things, and add some things, and just completely start new. A new plan, new blog, this is going to work for me. :)

I pay tons of money for a gym membership and don't even use it. I need to kick my butt into gear and make the most of it! This is 100% key for me- the exercise.

In a few weeks, I start back to school- so my life and schedule are going to become extremely demanding. Lots of things are going to change, but I need to make the most of the time I have. With or without some people.

I'm finally motivated enough in a way that it almost feels like I'm doing a life cleanse. That's what I need to do! 

Here goes nothing!!

**EDIT**

I went for a 40 minute afternoon walk around the neighborhood. I'm feeling good! Tomorrow I will increase the time and intensity. 

Eating not so bad. I'm at about 650 calories for the day. Still waiting to get hungry for an evening snack, and a late dinner.

No eating after 8pm!

Gone are the days...

Well, it's been well over a month since I last posted. I of course gained weight, in which I will disclose when I become comfortable with getting myself back on track.

Emotionally I'm getting better. Growing as a person, with much needed help of my counselor and the medication for the depression I've suffered for many years.

There's no other way of putting this, but there's no easy solution to my weight problems. There just is no quick fix for me. You name it. I've tried it. I've had results, and I've had gains...I've had more gains I'm sure... but I know I'm capable of losing the weight. But gone are the days where I don't have to work hard for it.

It's time to start over once again in my life. Go back to the old fashion fruit groups... and pick out what I like to eat, and what I can live without. Cut back on overall calories.... and workout... push myself. I'm lazy, and I don't like to sweat. I need to exercise and really work it out.

I've read tons of diet books over the last month, some good, some eh, and I've even read some books written by the people of the biggest loser. Ultimately- their good old fashioned food pyramid with exercise that pushes the limit.

I've also been through a lot in this last month, so it's time for me to refocus, and regain control of my life. It's a battle of course... but I have to change myself for the better, and the healthier.

Taking a Break

I need a break. That's why I haven't posted in a while. I'm going through too much emotionally and mentally, and its not allowing me to put my all into changing my life and weight.

I still plan to work on things, mostly cutting back and incorporating exercising into my daily life. I just don't have an exact set way of eating.

This vs. That

I'm always up in the air with my weightloss. I went to counseling today. I talked to my counselor about my effort in losing weight, and my lack of weight loss.

I always wonder about these programs. I was on weight waters. I did it for over 4 weeks, and lost and gained the same 5 pounds.

I stopped doing weight watchers, the day I weighed in at 216.0. I had been on WW for almost 5 weeks, the first week I literally lost 5 pounds. I started it at 219.0... I struggled for the following weeks, finally getting fed up with my progress, and throwing in the towel. I don't understand. I see all these people who have such success on weight watchers, and drop weight every week, and when I say drop weight I mean in high numbers. Some losing between 3-5 pounds a week. I guess where, I get upset is because these people are having progress by changing solely what their eating- and not even working out. I tracked my progress. Wrote down everything I ate, and counted its point value- for a fluctuating hell of 5 pounds? That's all I get, to only gain 2 pounds back and finally say the hell with it!

I decided to do this low carb thing. With low carb I gave up anything amounting to more than 20 grams of carbohydrates a day. I gave up bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, ice cream, fruit, etc. I'm still merely in induction, and though I've allowed myself to have a few cheat days and a week off, I am struggling with this too! Another 5 pounds of nothing but struggle! I started this plan weighing 216.0. I lost 5 pounds the first week. I made it to 211.0. I continue to fluctuate, and even with a week off- I gained 3 pounds. The only difference in low carb is that I started taking measurements. On low carb, I do feel a difference in how I feel, but I get aggravated because I just want to be able to eat whatever I want. I get frustrated because in the first week last time I lost 5 pounds, when the average was 9 pounds.

The counselor says it's stress. My body isn't going to lose weight with my level of stress. Now that they've changed my antidepressant, and my anxiety meds, I won't start to feel any changes for about another 2 weeks. I look forward to those next 2 weeks. I want to feel better, and I want to lift some weight off my shoulders. Of course it's not a permanent fix, but it's a start to get out of the funk I'm in and gain my life back, and lose some weight. Today was the first day of taking the paxil- so far so good, I just feel a slight nausea as they said it would. Lucky for me it makes it so that I don't want to eat, and it sort of takes the edge off my emotions.

I hate to say it, but if this doesn't work. If doing low carb is going to fail me again- I'm going back to a medical weightloss doctor to see what they will do. Even if that means shakes and pills. I'm that fed up with my progress.

I know I need to do my part, and I feel like I do when it comes to eating. I really need to push fluids- more water, because I don't drink nearly enough water!

I need to push myself to workout. I need an exercise routine, or someone to go with. I wish I had a partner, or someone who was supportive and motivated me to go out and do different activities to get me moving.

It's raining, otherwise I would have gotten out the bikes and had my little brother go for a bike ride with me. He'd probably enjoy it seeing as how he's on summer break and rain is not his ideal of fun. It makes me want to curl up with a cup of tea and a book in my bed and read til I fall asleep.

June 22, 2012 Food Menu

Breakfast:
Blueberry Coffee w/ heavy cream
1 packet splenda
1/4 cup leftover stew beef
1/2 cup lemon garlic butter broccoli

Snack:
(At my grandma's)
1 Italian Sausage
1 can diet pepsi

Lunch:
1/2 leftover chicken souvlaki salad
8oz water

Snack:

Dinner:
(Out at Restaurant)
1/2 chicken souvlaki
1/2 pita bread (CHEAT)
couple bites of garlic mashed potatoes (CHEAT)
Unsweet Iced Tea

WATER:
      [X] [X] [X] [] [] [] [] []

Exercise:


Comments: NO exercise again, not enough water, cheated and ate carbs. It's definitely my emotional state.

My doctor visit, and dealing with emotional eating.

I went to the Doctor yesterday. They decided that with my lack of sleep, and lack of energy, and how I'm feeling emotionally- It's time for me to go back on meds to regulate my moods, and feelings. They prescribed my Paxil. I start that today, along with amitriptilyne (totally wrong I'm sure) to help me sleep.

I have a counseling appointment at 1:00pm. I generally see a counselor once a month. It used to be every week to 2 weeks, but I've gotten better. I have had a lot go on in my life over the last 5 years. Somethings I've been able to deal with, and others... I haven't, or still deal with now.

At the doctor, on their scale I was 214.2- So I was up .2... Today I of course weighed myself at home and the scale said 212.2- If only I could lose those 2.2. I'm still working on reaching my 5 percent goal. Its extremely slow going. They said after the first 2 weeks of this new medicine, I'll notice a difference in how I feel emotionally, and my energy level. I hope so. I hate that I have to go back on meds, but my depression is a factor is why my weight went from 167 all the way up to 228 at my highest (of course I dealt with pregnancies- miscarriages, and ectopic pregnancies- so my body gained and changed during all those phases in my life) I weighed 167 in 2007- I was wearing some size 6's but mostly size 8's and even 10's- it was really dependent upon the make and brand of clothing. I was happy then...by 2008- my gain began. I would be happy in a 10 again- even a 12.

I'm hoping things will get better in the next 2 weeks.

I'm definitely content with low carb eating. It's not even a struggle. It wasn't a struggle to get started back on it again either. Don't get me wrong. I miss fresh fruit, and bread, and my sweets sometimes, but once I get through my 14 day induction or so- we'll see what happens and where I go from there! Rounds 2 started June 19th- and I'm doing good. But my emotions are causing me to eat even when I'm not hungry.

June 21, 2012 Food Menu

Breakfast:
1 hamburger- plain
3 spoonfuls chocolate mousse
(I was having a bad morning. Today's plan is not at all structured).
20 oz Coke Zero

Lunch:
1 can Tuna Fish
mayo
1 slice of onion
1 can diet pepsi
(at my grandma's house)

Snack:
1/2 of a hamburger

Dinner:
Beef Stew meat fried in butter salt & pepper
Broccoli with garlic butter and lemon
water

Late Night Snack:
1/2 Greek Chicken Souvlaki
1 can of Diet Coke
(this is how I know I'm going through a rough time emotionally) 


Water:
     [X] [X] [X] [X] [] [] [] [] 

I'm having a horrible day emotionally. Making me have no desire to do anything active. When it cools down I may go for a bike ride. I could really use the fresh air.

Measurements...Eeek!

Measurements (Starting Over)

June 20th, 2012

Neck: 13.25
Upper Arm: 18 (ugh! I gained and inch- oh how I hate my body!)
Chest: 40.5
Bust: 40 (another gain!)
Waist: 37.5 (gain)
Hips: 48
Thigh: 26.25
Knee: 18
Calves: 18.5
Ankle: 10

I added a couple extra measurements from what I was doing last time, only because I want to see if I lose in these areas.

I did tons of research on calf exercises- to find out that it's genetics! So there's not much I can do about it. They say to stretch the muscles, and do lots of cardio, and run. I don't want to bulk up my calves. I want to think them! This will probably be the last place I lose weight too according to the research i've done just because it seems to be my "trouble area".

My arms. I hate. I hate so much, I've literally looked into plastic surgery to cut them off and lipo them. It's a bit pricey, so the old fashioned way it is. Other than the machines at the gym- looks like I'm going to have to dig out the ol' hand held weights and start pumping out light weights with many repetitions!

June 20, 2012 Food Menu

Breakfast:
1 hamburger
mayo, mustard
2 tbsp chopped onion
Blueberry Cofffe with heavy cream
1 packet splenda

Snack:
8oz water (I was actually content with the water no snack needed).

Lunch:
1 hamburger
mayo, mustard
2 tbsp chopped onion
1 tsp worschester sauce
1/2 cup green beans seasoned with butter and black pepper
16 oz water

Snack:

Dinner:
(At Reb lobster)
Shrimp Your Way
2 servings shrimp scampi (20 shrimp- yes I ate them all, as i hate leftover shrimp!)
1/4 cup broccoli ( guessitmate- because it was like 6 pieces).

Water: (8 eight ounce glasses)
          [X] [X] [X] [X] [] [] [] []


Exercise:

Hamburgers Mmmmm

Yes! I will go back to weighing myself everyday... because that's what I do. I hate that I obsess over the number on the scale, but I want to get below 200. When I weighed myself yesterday I was 214.6. Today I weighed in at 214.0. It's slow going but .6 is a lot and good when you figure I just went back to low carb yesterday!Now if only I could lose a little everyday! Then it would be perfect. This time I'm following much more closely what I am eating. I kinda know the carb counts for what I am eating, so I just know instead of posting it next to every little thing I eat on my record.

Ever since I started this, I have a terrible want for hamburgers. Suddenly I love to eat hamburgers. At least there is something that I could be happy with eating every single day!

I'm going to attempt to drink more water today.

I'm also going to attempt to get a workout it. I have to do it. I have to stop putting it off and being lazy. I don't know why, normally I can jump right into exercise. Here lately I lack the ambition, desire, and energy to break a sweat. That hasn't come to me yet.

I feel good about what I eat. It just feels so simple. I would just like to see the loss. I know my body, and I kind of know I'm not going to get the results I want anytime soon, unless I kick my butt into high gear with some cardio!

15 pounds to go to One-derland!!

Why do I eat?

I realized today, that it was nothing to go back to eating low carb. I eat carbs because their there. I don't exactly have cravings. Well, once in a while I do. I realize more and more I do a lot of mindless eating. I eat to fulfill some boredom of some kind... or I eat just simply because it's there. I saw combos sitting on the counter this afternoon. I went to reach for some, and realized... HEY! those aren't for you. I wasn't even hungry.

I'm working on drinking water. 24oz so far today. I know it's not that much, but I'm working on it... and the night isnt over yet.

Exercise is something I need to do. I just lack the ambition there!

Changes... I'm working on making these changes! Step by step!

June 19th, 2012 Food Menu

Breakfast:
hot flax cereal (4g)
coffee with heavy cream
1 packet splenda (1g)

Snack:
1/2 Italian Sausage
4 slices sauteed green pepper
5 slices hot banana peppers
2 sliced onion rings sauteed in butter

Lunch:
1 hamburger
mayo, mustard
2 tbsp chopped onions
1/4 cup sauteed brussel sprouts in EVOO, garlic, salt & pepper
1 can diet coke

Snack:
4 spoonfuls of Chocolate mousse

Dinner:
1 hamburger
mayo, mustard
2 tbsp chopped onions
2 tsp worchister (spelled wrong) sauce
1/4 cup brussel sprouts

Water: (8 eight ounce glasses)
               [X] [X] [X] [] [] [] [] []


Exercise:

Research

After doing a lot of research this evening, I found where I fell short on much of my induction phase last time. It totally and completely explains WHY I only lost the 5 pounds and didn't have the 9-14 pound success that I kept reading most other's have.

I went to the official Atkin's site, and read through everything. I had no idea that they consider 1 packet of splenda to be 1 carb (problem #1- I was overusing the splenda)

I don't eat enough vegetables. According to the site, it says I could eat approximately 6 cups of loosely packed lettuce, and 2 cups of cooked vegetables. I wasn't eating nearly that much in vegetables. In fact I maybe had 2 cups a day.

I use a lot of heavy cream the site doesn't say anything about it. It just lists it as a part of the beverages and says to note the carb count.

I definitely have a meal plan set for the things I currently have in the house. It should last me through until Sunday. I'm going to try to really kick up the protein intake just to kick my butt into ketosis.

Time well spent. :)

The Downfalls...

Weeeeeell, I can say I started out good this morning, and for lunch ended up with a burger. I ate the bread- yes I'm guilty as charged! And I also had a mocha that my mother brought home for me. I guess I failed to mention I was starting over. It's a $5.00 drink, I drank it. I hate to see it go to waste.. that lead to my burger fix. I'm ok about it though. I messed up, and I'm owning it. So from here on out, I will get back on track to where I need and want to be.

I will say, the amount of chocolate in my iced mocha was SO OVERWHELMING! I actually added more skim milk to it, and some water. I was shocked. I honestly can't believe I used to drink a Venti Mocha nearly everyday. I look at the amount of money I'm saving not drinking those, but the sugar and sweetness really knocked me off my feet! It was really just that bad!

I know it will take me about 3 days to get back on track, and kick myself into a small/moderate ketosis, so I expect by Tuesday I will be right back where I need to be. However, I'm going to take the necessary steps to the extent of counting carbs, and calories and whatever I need to do during this induction phase.

I'm going to make myself a menu for the week. I'll use what I have in the house, and make a menu of it. Surprisingly I have a lot of low carb options to work with, so I won't even need to go shopping. I'll probably need a heavy cream, but that's probably all I'm going to need and a carton of eggs.

Water, I have to learn to drink more water. Force myself is more like it!

I feel like I'm going through a lot right now. I am. Breaking up, Letting go, Moving on...Getting myself together. All reasons I want to turn to food... but I have to find peace with all these issues and move forth and better myself.

I'm happy to say I have an interview for a new job tomorrow. So I have to get my emotions together, and myself together, and be ready for what's thrown at me tomorrow. I really hope everything goes well. I really want this job!

As Always, I am a total work in progress.

Starting OVER...

So, I've been gone for a little while... unfortunately! I won't make any excuses. Somehow I got really frustrated with my results. I became upset, and indulged in everything I've wanted to eat, that I had given up, because the numbers on the scale weren't going down, and inch wise, it's only little by very little.

Now, I know I don't need to be some rocket scientist to know that I can't be skinny or lose weight over night, but it's very discouraging to give up all the foods you love and substitute them for stuff your eating and seeing no changes.

I will say this, since taking my hiatus, I feel terrible- physically, emotionally, mentally. I'm exhausted. My energy is down- I really just feel blah! (on a side note, I do have other problems with anxiety, and depression- which is something I have an appt to follow up on with the doctor, so we will see what happens there- probably another cause to my lack of energy and laziness). Once I started eating carbs again, I'm just tired all the time. Other than the depressed state and stress factors of my life- I'm very tired. No matter what I eat, it's like I literally have to lay down.

Today is father's day! Happy Father's Day to my wonderful Daddy!! He's the best! I guess we're planning on going to dinner somewhere, so I'm sure there will be bread. Today will be my last day of carbs. Because starting tomorrow. I am starting over. I am making the changes I need to make in all areas of my life. I'm giving myself 6 months to get my life together (not get skinny or to goal but to get ME together).

More to come!!

Measurements, Weight, etc- I will get everything up to date!

Friday June 8th, 2012

Food Menu:

Breakfast:
 3 original brown & serve sausage links (2g)
1 crystal light iced tea

Snack:
1/2 cup cucumber slices (2g)
1 packet tuna w/ mayo salt & pepper

Lunch:
hot flax cereal (2g) ** I googled 1/4 cup of heavy cream and most sites say it's about 2g of carb?
I cup coffee w/ heavy cream and splenda 

Snack:
1/2 cup cucumber slices (2g)
1 packet tuna w/ mayo salt & peper

Dinner:


Approx Carb Count:

Water:
[X] [X] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ]

Exercise:

Confession

This weightloss cycle is a constant rollercoaster in my life. I do extreme yo-yo dieting. I've taken diet pills, I've gone to see a medical weightloss doctor. I've done many things and many programs, but one things always stays true. I am 100% emotional eater. I eat when I'm sad, I eat when I'm depressed, I even eat when I'm happy- I celebrate with drinks- strawberry margarita's, and foods of all sorts. Anything that makes me feel better in that time. It generally relates to food. If not food, my other go-to is shopping. I'm a very mild manic depressive- which I was on anti-depressants for, however I chose to stop them. My depression is currently at moderate depending on what life throws at me, and my anxiety- well, thats another issue in itself. I know what is the cause of my anxiety.

Anyway- food is probably my worst addiction ever. I struggle and kill myself all the time, for such a small loss and then I get disappointed and turn to what comforts me- food, chocolate, ice cream, cookies- chocolate confetti pepridge farms cake (yes, I've sat an eaten a whole one in one sitting). I get to a point where I don't see the results everyone else sees quick enough, and I throw in the towel- as I did last night and ate the chinese food.

There are a number of things that are affecting me, and I just need to make the changes I need to make.

1. I need another job, yes I resigned my position at my current one, but there's some things going on in there that I don't agree with, and I just cannot work the overnight anymore. I've done much research and statistics show that people who work 3rd shift suffer a higher rate of depression, sleep deprivation/insomnia, and obesity, as well as other health problems. I struggle with a sleep schedule, and I gained weight from working this job. I think I need adequate amounts of sleep in order to remain healthy and maintain a healthy lifestyle. This weighs heavy on my health and weight loss success. I nap. I don't get the required amount of sleep and its stressful. Even though i chose to quit this job, I still worry about money, and when and where I will find my next job. My parents of course will help me out, but I hate to ask them for money. I'm getting too old for that.

2. I stress because I've loaned out a lot of money to a friend- I should just face the facts and come to terms with the fact that more than likely, I will never see the 3 grand I've shelled out in the last year. Yes, "borrow" was the word- but more times than not, people don't pay what they owe. I need to find a way to let it go. I can always find a job. I can always make more money. Stressing makes me want to turn to food.

3. School is hard- again stressful. I've put so much money into my education and being at this college for Nursing, and I find myself sometimes questioning... is nursing what I really want to get into? Self-doubt.

There's more, I know... but I'm so tired I need to go to sleep. I got off work at 8:30. I'm ready for sleep- and knowing me- sleep means a 3 hour nap at most, then I'm up for the rest of the day until I go back to work at midnight. 

I cheated...

In my moment of feeling like crap over the numbers on the scale not going down.. I cheated and ate chinese food. Enough said.

UGH! Tomorrow is a new day.

Confused...

Is it me or is it my scale?

I've been following this low carb plan and doing well. My appetite has decreased significantly and I'm eating less. I know I have a few problem areas too, because I need to eat more vegetables. I eat a lot of meat, and I'm not drinking enough water. I also need to workout. With all the meat I do eat, I'm always in moderate ketosis. Only once was I in Large Ketosis because I check alot.

I'm losing inches, small and slow, but their definitely leaving! I look at other blogs of people who lost between 9 and 14 pounds the first week. I realize I've had a couple cheat days in my plan, but I've only lost 5 pounds. When do the numbers on the scale start to go down?

Ahhh, my struggle! Ordinarily this would be the point in the past where I lose interest and say it's not working, and I want a different plan, but I'm content on this plan. I need to maybe measure better, and write everything down. Maybe I need to count exact carbs and look at my calorie intake? I feel stuck. I need fluids and exercise.

On another note June 11th is my last day of work. YES! I happily applied for a new job where a friend of mine works and she's trying to have them pull my application and put me through training starting the 25th of June. I so badly hope I can move on to something better with better benefits, higher pay, and better hours.

Measurements (Week 3)

Weight: 211.4

Neck: 13.25
Chest: 40.5
 Bust: 39
Waist: 37
Hips: 48
Thigh: 26
Calves: 18.5
Upper Arm: 17

Overall this week was ok. There's not a huge loss in inches, and that's ok. My weight is up 4 ounces, that could be because of a number of reasons.  I do however think I need a new scale because everytime I get on my scale- I weigh myself 3 times, and today It gave me 3 different numbers. 211.0, 211.4, and 212.2. I went with 211.4 only because I got that number more than once (because I weighed myself like 6 times instead lol)

I think if I incorporated the gym, I would see a lot of difference in my weight, and inches being lost.

The weekend....

So my weekend went pretty good, relaxed and stress free. I'm so off schedule from picking up these days to work the overnights at that job though. I'm done on the 11th of June, and I have to say... I just can't do it anymore. I really thought about going back and staying since they asked me to, but I can't. I need to something that fits me much better because of my health, and the schedule of my life.

Sunday was great. Spent time with good people, and had the most amazing Indian food ever...delicious and well worth the cheat! I also went for coffee at the coffee place around the way, and yes...yes, shameful as it is- I purchased a glazed doughnut and ate it all!

Monday I got right back on track though.  I skipped weighing in on Monday, So I'm a day late on measurements and weight.

Last week wasn't the greatest, there was a number of things. I don't know if I eat too many calories, or if maybe my appetite has decreased so much on some days and I'm not eating enough.

I know my lack of interest in working out here lately is a problem too. I have no idea what the problem is because normally I enjoy working out. I'm able to push myself through and make myself go because I know I'll feel good when it's all said and done... but I just can't get up the energy to go! It's 5 days into a new month, so I have to get going and make changes for this month!

I want to see inches gone, and pounds dropped!

Food Today:

Breakfast:
Coffee w/ 1 tsp coffee mate 1 splenda
4 eggs ( only made 4 egg whites and 2 egg yolks)
salt & pepper

Snack:
English Breakfast Tea
2 tbsp heavy cream 1 splenda
2 pepperjack cheese sticks

Lunch:
Pizza Casserole ( i also got this recipe idea from Kelly's blog, however I didn't have the same ingredients. I used what I had at the house.)

Snack:
1 cup lettuce
2 tbsp ranch dressing

Dinner:
Pizza Casserole

*EXERCISE*
3 mile walk at the high school track while my brother played lacrosse

Gotta figure something out!

So I was called back into work (even though I gave my notice) They're asking me to work because they are so short staffed. I might help out for a while... but I quit for a reason.

One the shift totally sucks. It's 12am-10am, and that's 10 hours of where I do nothing but count medications, watch t.v. and of course EAT. So last night, keeping myself awake and trying to find something to snack on, I realized that 1 there was nothing in the place that I could eat. I'm pretty sure I kicked myself out or have such a Trace amount of Ketones is because of the amount of sugar free jello snack packs I ate last night. I had like 3 cheese sticks too. That's the problem in working  shift like that- that's also where most of my weight gain came from. So now, when I go back in tonight at midnight, I need to have a better plan packed with me. My eating schedule is clearly messed up now because I came home at 8am( i left early) and went right to sleep. I got up and had breakfast at 2pm which was a left over burger with mayo, mustard and a thin slice of onion. I gotta put myself back into ketosis.

Still a no go with the gym- I don't know what is with me!! I need to get myself together and MAKE MYSELF GO! I need a routine!

It's cold, and rainy, and i don't have much of any energy at all. I don't know what to expect come weigh in and measurements day!

Just Not Feelin It...

I don't know what is with me. Strangely, ever since I've started this low carb change, my appetite has decreased significantly... which I cannot say that I am at all complaining about it. I'm still in my induction phase which I planned to do for 2 weeks. I'm actually okay and content on how I'm eating, that I may continue with it for a week longer and then progress with adding a little more to it like sunflower seeds and etc.

I actually have planned a few cheat days for the month of June so I am trying to be as good as possible, while I am able. This coming Sunday, I have lunch plans with an old friend to go to this new Taste of India restaurant, though I'm sure I could find a way to eat low carb, I want to go and eat the white rice that is available. I know there's a significant amount of Carbs in Rice, but it's only 1 day for 1 meal. I plan to eat in moderation. Sadly, I am very excited to go eat, but also to spend time with my friend. She is one of the best people I know in life! I'm looking forward to it!

Then, on June 15th, I am hosting a purse party with all my girlfriends. That is also a cheat day because of the alcohol consumption- and one thing I'm good at making is jello shots, and strawberry margaritas! So I plan to have a couple of those.

and lastly, June 24th will be a cheat day because it is my niece's baptism, and there will be tons of food for the party afterward here at the house. Some foods that I know I won't be able to pass up.

In such an odd way, I'm very content. However, I am just not into working out. Normally that's my savior and outlet, but here lately I just can't get my butt going. That's what happens though, you slack too many days too long, and trying to push yourself to go is a struggle. I hate that I have no motivation to go because after the first 3 days of pushing yourself, you start feeling guilty when you don't go because you feel so good when it's done. I have to get back on track with that immediately! When I don't go, it's almost like I can feel myself getting weaker.

I am so close to my 5 percent goal. I'm eating what feels best for me and keeps me feeling full, I'm not exactly counting for exact carbs, sometimes I'm sure it's less, and other days, I know I have to be over, but it even's itself out in a way. If I lost another 5 pounds this week, I'd be thrilled, but I have to get on the move with this exercising!!

Food Labels... smh

Today I made a quick stop at the grocery store, because I needed to grabbed a couple things and as I walked around Tops, I realize that they SUCK! But I swear it is just this store on the Island. I needed heavy cream and the 2 brands they carry were 1 super expensive $4.79 for a small one, and 2.59 for like a lunch box milk carton size you get in school! Also, I notice their store brand has 2 carbs per 1 tbsp, and the other brand has 1 carb per tbsp. Not a good selection. Needless to say I walked out with 2 cans of pizza sauce because they were but 1 get 1 free, and 3 packages of hamburger that were on sale.

Soooo... I ventured over to super wal-mart and bought the great value brand of heavy whipping cream which satisfyingly has 0 carbs per 2 tbsp- I think. Anyhoo... It was also cheaper which is one thing I am all about! 5 dollars for heavy cream is not my idea of a good purchase. I would rather waste the gas and drive to wal-mart and get the brands I know have less carbs and etc! I also used a couple coupons while I was there that were on their way to expiring this week, so I got ice cream and lemon ice for the OTHER members of family in this house, that eat normal.

I was in the ice cream isle checking out the CarbSmart Brand and what a joke! They advertise 3g of carbs on the front of the box for a fudge pop... then on the vanilla ice cream covered in a chocolate shell they advertise 5g carbs.... I start reading the label and the fudge pop actually has 8g of carbs and the other 7g of carbs... I decided that those 6 dollar bars were not worth the purchase because I wouldn't stop and eat one in a day... I'd probably eat all 5 in the box.

I went over to the diet section where they keep the atkins shakes and bars, and I looked, and a couple things caught my eye but their pricey! 8 dollars a box for tiny bars.

I wish I could find a store that carries CarbLite Bars. My mom lived on those when she did low carb... but they seemed to have disappeared. I remember how good they were because at 13 yrs old, I used to steal them and eat them for myself, even though they were expensive...lol I'll have to do some research and shop around!

Buffalo Chicken Wing Dip

It was my savior on Memorial Day (even though I did cheat with the cake, I followed everything else through)



INGREDIENTS:
 

8 oz. pkg. cream cheese, softened

1/2 cup blue cheese or ranch dressing

1/2 cup hot sauce

1/2 cup crumbled blue cheese or shredded mozzarella cheese

2 cans (12.5 oz. each) SWANSON White Premium Chunk Chicken Breast in Water, drained and shredded with fork.

DIRECTIONS:

 

HEAT oven to 350°F. Place cream cheese into deep baking dish. Stir until smooth.
MIX in salad dressing, Hot Sauce and cheese. Stir in chicken.
BAKE 20 min. or until mixture is heated through; stir. Garnish as desired. Serve with crackers, tortillas or vegetables.

Specifically with mine I used bleu cheease, and I used shredded cheddar instead of the mozzarella. I mixed it in, and also sprinkled a layer over the top. I used pork skins to dip.

So absolutely delicious!! and a life savor at any party!

Creamy Sugar free Jello

I like plain jello on hot days, but at night for a later evening snack I like I little bit heavier and creamier sweetness.

1 packet any flavor sugar-free jello
1 cup boiling water
1 cup heavy whipping cream

Add boiling water to packet of jello to dissolve, mix until dissolved. Then add the cup of cream, Give it a couple stirs and refrigerate. Its so yummy, and thick! It's a little heavier of a snack and keeps you full.

Choc-o-holic

I'm addicted to Sweets! There's no getting past it!

1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
1 tbsp cocoa powder
Splenda to taste

I put it in the bullet and blend it until its thicker than whip cream its like a chocolatey mousse that satisfies my chocolate craving. I eat it right from the container, and refrigerate the left overs and save for later. This is perfect for those chocolate cravings!!

delicious!

 

Five Percent Goal

I am so close to my 5 percent of my weight Goal. I can't wait to get there. I know it's only 11 pounds, but seeing that I'm only 3 pounds away make me want to work extra hard this week to drop those 3 pounds by next weigh In.

I'm also looking forward to filling up my calendar for working out since last weeks calendar is definitely looking a little bear!

I'm even excited about getting out the measuring tape and seeing how many inches I've lost.

The first week wasn't bad at all, I still feel guilty about the cake, but today I got right back on track like it was nothing. I'm very satisfied with this change. I have no complaints (except ice cream of course)!!!

I feel positive, which is a great thing!

Guilty Cheat Day... :/

With yesterday being Memorial Day, the family came over for a cook out. My family was kind enough to try to keep everything low carb for me.

I ate really well, I ate chicken Kabobs, and a hamburger with mustard, mayo, and a little red onion.

I splurged and had a corn on the cobb with butter (only 1 small one)- and it was so sweet and yummy!

Then, I splurged and cheated again for dessert. I had a slice of "pig pickin' " cake that my mom makes, it's yellow cake with mandarins and pineapple in it. The the frosting is made of cool whip, vanilla pudding, and crushed pineapple. It was so good, but I definitely paid for it! I guess my body isn't used to the sugar, because I had gotten the worst head ache after eating this cake. Then I got really tired. I literally had to lay down and close my eyes for a good 30-45 mins.

Today, I'm feeling guilty because I'm feeling a little sluggish. I won't even attempt to get on the scale since after all I do that that scale OCD. I also feel blah, like I'm bloated or something. So not in the mood for wearing anything other than sweats- even if it is well into the 80's degree weather!

I have errands to run, resumes to print, woodwork in my bathroom to finish painting, and then there is no questions about it- I HAVE TO GO TO THE GYM, or go out and ride my bike... or do something that is going to make me break a sweat! This sweat from it being hot, isn't it! I need to work out, I always sort of dread going, but once I go and it's done, I feel so much more accomplished and better about myself!

I suppose if I'm feeling extra ambitious today I'll even tape off my bathroom cabinet and paint it white. It should have been done... but I'm slacking and things need to get done around here!

Hope you all had a Happy Holiday.

Measurements {week 2}

Weight: 211.0

Neck: 13.25
Chest: 41
Bust: 39
Waist: 37
Hips: 48.25
Thigh: 26
Calves: 18.5
Upper Arm: 17

I'm definitely losing in inches... It's nice to see it in numbers when clothes are still fitting snug. For the first week, I also managed to lose 5 pounds, so I'm happy with that. The positive side is that even though I look at myself everyday and don't see the loss, my family tells me that can see where I have lost. That makes me feel good!

I honestly probably would have done better, but I totally skimped on the gym this week. I went Monday and spent the rest of my days doing work around the house. This week I'm definitely going to incorporate the gym, and of course riding my bike, and other little workouts as often as I can.

Gotta Believe :)

Oficially a whole Week!

I've managed to stay on a low carb diet for a full week, and the funny thing is... I'm full, and I hardly ever think about food. Every now and then I find myself wanting Ice Cream, which is something I normally wouldn't want to eat unless it was in the house or everyone was heading out to DQ.

I planned that tomorrow would be a day where I would cheat and go off and eat whats around, but I don't know if I will, my mom is planning to make things low carb for me, and I'm actually not so sure that I want anything other than what I've already been eating.

They say all it takes it 5 days to break an old habit and start a new one... and here I am 7 days later and very content!

Weigh In, and measurements to come tomorrow!

Atkins Revolution Rolls (Cream Cheese)

Ingredients:

3 eggs
1/4 tsp. Cream of Tartar
3oz Cream Cheese
2 packets splenda

Preparation:

1. Preheat oven to 300°F.
2. Separate eggs very carefully (make sure that none of the yolk gets into the whites.)
3. Spray Pam on a Teflon cookie sheet.**
4. Beat egg whites with cream of tartar until whites are stiff but not dry.
5. Fold in yolks, cream cheese and splenda*** (Be extremely careful not to break down the egg whites. Mix for no more than 1 minute.)
6. Place the mixture carefully on the Teflon cookie sheet, gently putting one tablespoon full on top of another until each “roll” is about 2 inches high. Repeat this until you have 6 piles.
7. Place the cookie sheet in the oven and bake for about 1 hour. (I did about 40 minutes)


OMG they are delicious and taste just like bread. I made some on a cookie sheet and some in a muffin pan, but the ones on the muffin pan look like puffy muffins...lol

some are very flat

side view of the muffin ones.

Brownie Heaven :)

So, I love sweets. There's no getting around it. I found this awesome recipe on-line that my mom told me about actually. She said she was reading it on her nook in some book she purchased. So I searched around the net, and I found it. SO SIMPLE TO MAKE TOO! LOVE IT

You'll never guess the ingredients in it either, you totally cannot tell at all!!

Low Carb Black Bean Brownies

Ingredients

1 can rinsed and drained black beans
3 eggs or egg substitute
3 tbsp. oil
4 tbsp. cocoa powder
pinch of salt
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 to 3/4 c. sweetener of choice (i use splenda)
sugar free chocolate chips and nuts (optional)



These are the things I used








cooking spray

 

Directions

mix ingredients together in a blender until pureed. Pour into greased 8 x 8 cake pan.
Stir in some sugar free chocolate chips and nuts if you wish. Bake at 350 approximately 30 min.
Makes a dozen.

Ready to go in the oven for 30 minutes

(I doubled the recipe and made them in a larger cake pan)

*update* after doing this, I probably wouldn't eat this again during induction. They are so good you can't eat just one. Their like a real brownie, but a fudgey chewier texture to them. The Goya Black Beans actually have 18g of carbs and 8 grams of fiber for a 1//2 cup. I will probably check out other brands and see what they have available. I ate a small piece and it was great definitely something to keep on hand when your having a chocolate attack.  I would say I had about 1/4 of a brownie. It was a pretty good size, so to look and the info at the bottom, I would say that's probably accurate.

This was on the site I got it off of so I'm not 100% sure it's correct pertaining to the brands of the ingredients I used.

Nutritional Info

• Servings Per Recipe: 12
• Amount Per Serving
• Calories: 91.4

• Total Fat: 5.0 g
• Cholesterol: 53.1 mg
• Sodium: 29.4 mg
• Total Carbs: 9.8 g
• Dietary Fiber: 3.1 g
• Protein: 4.5 g  

Night of Baking: Cancelled!

I had planned to test out 2 different versions of Atkin's Revolution rolls this evening, however my plan was cancelled since a friend and her daughter came over. I love kids, but wholly cow! I don't know if or when I'll be ready for a child... I have patience, but boy do I love silence too! haha This little girl is just too cute though! You can't help but love her.

Anyway, it was a good night. We sat around talking and laughing and looking up people on facebook (no we were not facebook stalkers) but looking up old ex's new girlfriends and people of the past can sometimes be funny, it was all in good fun and laughs.

We ate string cheese...LOL the appetizer of choice since I was low on entertaining foods, had I known in advance I would've looked up low carb friendly appetizers to whip up. I offered chips and what not, but she wanted string cheese too...lol

Tomorrow mornings plan is to definitely test out my recipes! I'm so looking forward to it!!

Staying away from the scale! Induction Day 5

I managed to stay away from the scale today. Kudo's to me for that one. I'm actually staying away because I ate a ton of Bacon yesterday, and because of the salt content in that choice of food, my best bet is to not get on the scale because that will be discouraging! That's where I always hang up is when the scale doesn't budge or it goes up...throws me completely off my game! But I also had a huge decrease in my appetite yesterday, so I was pretty much forcing myself to eat. My mom said I needed to eat otherwise I'd knock myself out of ketosis. She would know- she lost 30 pounds in one month going low carb.

I didn't go to the gym yesterday. I spent the entire day working around my house, and painting my bathroom. I officially have the walls done (what a pain in the butt color that was to paint!) and the other stuff primed. Today I'm going to paint the cabinet white along with the wood work around the door and window. I also have to touch up my white ceiling because I'm horrible at painting and kept hitting it with the red paint! After that, I'm done painting the bathroom...Amen! Then all I have to do is wait for my dad to come over and put the floor and floor moldings in place and hang up the mirror over the sink..and it's finished! Woo Hoo, one step closer to normal, organized living! 


Today I need to go to the gym... I need cardio and weights. I was going to go this morning, but I didn't I kind of bummed around the house today but that's okay. I have to run out to the store too. I found some recipes I want to try out, so I want to get the stuff and see how it goes. I suppose I could do this running around after my appointment at 1:30 for physical therapy. Thankfully this is my last therapy session! It's helpful, but so inconvenient to have to go 2 times a week when I'm in the middle of other things I need to be doing! 


I'm debating what I should do for food today. I don't know what I want or what I'm in the mood for... another lack of appetite kind of day I see it is going to be!


Today's Menu:


Breakfast:
1 Slice of cream Strawberry Banana Sugar free jello
Coffee with heavy cream & splenda


Snack:
1/2 of Mediterranean Chicken Breast


Lunch:
Mediterranean Chicken Salad
Caesar dressing


Snack:
Strawberry Banana Sugar free jello
 
Dinner:
 Taco Salad
Salsa
Sour Cream