This vs. That

I'm always up in the air with my weightloss. I went to counseling today. I talked to my counselor about my effort in losing weight, and my lack of weight loss.

I always wonder about these programs. I was on weight waters. I did it for over 4 weeks, and lost and gained the same 5 pounds.

I stopped doing weight watchers, the day I weighed in at 216.0. I had been on WW for almost 5 weeks, the first week I literally lost 5 pounds. I started it at 219.0... I struggled for the following weeks, finally getting fed up with my progress, and throwing in the towel. I don't understand. I see all these people who have such success on weight watchers, and drop weight every week, and when I say drop weight I mean in high numbers. Some losing between 3-5 pounds a week. I guess where, I get upset is because these people are having progress by changing solely what their eating- and not even working out. I tracked my progress. Wrote down everything I ate, and counted its point value- for a fluctuating hell of 5 pounds? That's all I get, to only gain 2 pounds back and finally say the hell with it!

I decided to do this low carb thing. With low carb I gave up anything amounting to more than 20 grams of carbohydrates a day. I gave up bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, ice cream, fruit, etc. I'm still merely in induction, and though I've allowed myself to have a few cheat days and a week off, I am struggling with this too! Another 5 pounds of nothing but struggle! I started this plan weighing 216.0. I lost 5 pounds the first week. I made it to 211.0. I continue to fluctuate, and even with a week off- I gained 3 pounds. The only difference in low carb is that I started taking measurements. On low carb, I do feel a difference in how I feel, but I get aggravated because I just want to be able to eat whatever I want. I get frustrated because in the first week last time I lost 5 pounds, when the average was 9 pounds.

The counselor says it's stress. My body isn't going to lose weight with my level of stress. Now that they've changed my antidepressant, and my anxiety meds, I won't start to feel any changes for about another 2 weeks. I look forward to those next 2 weeks. I want to feel better, and I want to lift some weight off my shoulders. Of course it's not a permanent fix, but it's a start to get out of the funk I'm in and gain my life back, and lose some weight. Today was the first day of taking the paxil- so far so good, I just feel a slight nausea as they said it would. Lucky for me it makes it so that I don't want to eat, and it sort of takes the edge off my emotions.

I hate to say it, but if this doesn't work. If doing low carb is going to fail me again- I'm going back to a medical weightloss doctor to see what they will do. Even if that means shakes and pills. I'm that fed up with my progress.

I know I need to do my part, and I feel like I do when it comes to eating. I really need to push fluids- more water, because I don't drink nearly enough water!

I need to push myself to workout. I need an exercise routine, or someone to go with. I wish I had a partner, or someone who was supportive and motivated me to go out and do different activities to get me moving.

It's raining, otherwise I would have gotten out the bikes and had my little brother go for a bike ride with me. He'd probably enjoy it seeing as how he's on summer break and rain is not his ideal of fun. It makes me want to curl up with a cup of tea and a book in my bed and read til I fall asleep.