I need a break. That's why I haven't posted in a while. I'm going through too much emotionally and mentally, and its not allowing me to put my all into changing my life and weight.
I still plan to work on things, mostly cutting back and incorporating exercising into my daily life. I just don't have an exact set way of eating.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Friday, June 22, 2012
This vs. That
I'm always up in the air with my weightloss. I went to counseling today. I talked to my counselor about my effort in losing weight, and my lack of weight loss.
I always wonder about these programs. I was on weight waters. I did it for over 4 weeks, and lost and gained the same 5 pounds.
I stopped doing weight watchers, the day I weighed in at 216.0. I had been on WW for almost 5 weeks, the first week I literally lost 5 pounds. I started it at 219.0... I struggled for the following weeks, finally getting fed up with my progress, and throwing in the towel. I don't understand. I see all these people who have such success on weight watchers, and drop weight every week, and when I say drop weight I mean in high numbers. Some losing between 3-5 pounds a week. I guess where, I get upset is because these people are having progress by changing solely what their eating- and not even working out. I tracked my progress. Wrote down everything I ate, and counted its point value- for a fluctuating hell of 5 pounds? That's all I get, to only gain 2 pounds back and finally say the hell with it!
I decided to do this low carb thing. With low carb I gave up anything amounting to more than 20 grams of carbohydrates a day. I gave up bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, ice cream, fruit, etc. I'm still merely in induction, and though I've allowed myself to have a few cheat days and a week off, I am struggling with this too! Another 5 pounds of nothing but struggle! I started this plan weighing 216.0. I lost 5 pounds the first week. I made it to 211.0. I continue to fluctuate, and even with a week off- I gained 3 pounds. The only difference in low carb is that I started taking measurements. On low carb, I do feel a difference in how I feel, but I get aggravated because I just want to be able to eat whatever I want. I get frustrated because in the first week last time I lost 5 pounds, when the average was 9 pounds.
The counselor says it's stress. My body isn't going to lose weight with my level of stress. Now that they've changed my antidepressant, and my anxiety meds, I won't start to feel any changes for about another 2 weeks. I look forward to those next 2 weeks. I want to feel better, and I want to lift some weight off my shoulders. Of course it's not a permanent fix, but it's a start to get out of the funk I'm in and gain my life back, and lose some weight. Today was the first day of taking the paxil- so far so good, I just feel a slight nausea as they said it would. Lucky for me it makes it so that I don't want to eat, and it sort of takes the edge off my emotions.
I hate to say it, but if this doesn't work. If doing low carb is going to fail me again- I'm going back to a medical weightloss doctor to see what they will do. Even if that means shakes and pills. I'm that fed up with my progress.
I know I need to do my part, and I feel like I do when it comes to eating. I really need to push fluids- more water, because I don't drink nearly enough water!
I need to push myself to workout. I need an exercise routine, or someone to go with. I wish I had a partner, or someone who was supportive and motivated me to go out and do different activities to get me moving.
It's raining, otherwise I would have gotten out the bikes and had my little brother go for a bike ride with me. He'd probably enjoy it seeing as how he's on summer break and rain is not his ideal of fun. It makes me want to curl up with a cup of tea and a book in my bed and read til I fall asleep.
I always wonder about these programs. I was on weight waters. I did it for over 4 weeks, and lost and gained the same 5 pounds.
The counselor says it's stress. My body isn't going to lose weight with my level of stress. Now that they've changed my antidepressant, and my anxiety meds, I won't start to feel any changes for about another 2 weeks. I look forward to those next 2 weeks. I want to feel better, and I want to lift some weight off my shoulders. Of course it's not a permanent fix, but it's a start to get out of the funk I'm in and gain my life back, and lose some weight. Today was the first day of taking the paxil- so far so good, I just feel a slight nausea as they said it would. Lucky for me it makes it so that I don't want to eat, and it sort of takes the edge off my emotions.
I hate to say it, but if this doesn't work. If doing low carb is going to fail me again- I'm going back to a medical weightloss doctor to see what they will do. Even if that means shakes and pills. I'm that fed up with my progress.
I know I need to do my part, and I feel like I do when it comes to eating. I really need to push fluids- more water, because I don't drink nearly enough water!
I need to push myself to workout. I need an exercise routine, or someone to go with. I wish I had a partner, or someone who was supportive and motivated me to go out and do different activities to get me moving.
It's raining, otherwise I would have gotten out the bikes and had my little brother go for a bike ride with me. He'd probably enjoy it seeing as how he's on summer break and rain is not his ideal of fun. It makes me want to curl up with a cup of tea and a book in my bed and read til I fall asleep.
June 22, 2012 Food Menu
Breakfast:
Blueberry Coffee w/ heavy cream
1 packet splenda
1/4 cup leftover stew beef
1/2 cup lemon garlic butter broccoli
Snack:
(At my grandma's)
1 Italian Sausage
1 can diet pepsi
Lunch:
1/2 leftover chicken souvlaki salad
8oz water
Snack:
Dinner:
(Out at Restaurant)
1/2 chicken souvlaki
1/2 pita bread (CHEAT)
couple bites of garlic mashed potatoes (CHEAT)
Unsweet Iced Tea
WATER:
[X] [X] [X] [] [] [] [] []
Exercise:
Comments: NO exercise again, not enough water, cheated and ate carbs. It's definitely my emotional state.
Blueberry Coffee w/ heavy cream
1 packet splenda
1/4 cup leftover stew beef
1/2 cup lemon garlic butter broccoli
Snack:
(At my grandma's)
1 Italian Sausage
1 can diet pepsi
Lunch:
1/2 leftover chicken souvlaki salad
8oz water
Snack:
Dinner:
(Out at Restaurant)
1/2 chicken souvlaki
1/2 pita bread (CHEAT)
couple bites of garlic mashed potatoes (CHEAT)
Unsweet Iced Tea
WATER:
[X] [X] [X] [] [] [] [] []
Exercise:
Comments: NO exercise again, not enough water, cheated and ate carbs. It's definitely my emotional state.
My doctor visit, and dealing with emotional eating.
I went to the Doctor yesterday. They decided that with my lack of sleep, and lack of energy, and how I'm feeling emotionally- It's time for me to go back on meds to regulate my moods, and feelings. They prescribed my Paxil. I start that today, along with amitriptilyne (totally wrong I'm sure) to help me sleep.
I have a counseling appointment at 1:00pm. I generally see a counselor once a month. It used to be every week to 2 weeks, but I've gotten better. I have had a lot go on in my life over the last 5 years. Somethings I've been able to deal with, and others... I haven't, or still deal with now.
At the doctor, on their scale I was 214.2- So I was up .2... Today I of course weighed myself at home and the scale said 212.2- If only I could lose those 2.2. I'm still working on reaching my 5 percent goal. Its extremely slow going. They said after the first 2 weeks of this new medicine, I'll notice a difference in how I feel emotionally, and my energy level. I hope so. I hate that I have to go back on meds, but my depression is a factor is why my weight went from 167 all the way up to 228 at my highest (of course I dealt with pregnancies- miscarriages, and ectopic pregnancies- so my body gained and changed during all those phases in my life) I weighed 167 in 2007- I was wearing some size 6's but mostly size 8's and even 10's- it was really dependent upon the make and brand of clothing. I was happy then...by 2008- my gain began. I would be happy in a 10 again- even a 12.
I'm hoping things will get better in the next 2 weeks.
I'm definitely content with low carb eating. It's not even a struggle. It wasn't a struggle to get started back on it again either. Don't get me wrong. I miss fresh fruit, and bread, and my sweets sometimes, but once I get through my 14 day induction or so- we'll see what happens and where I go from there! Rounds 2 started June 19th- and I'm doing good. But my emotions are causing me to eat even when I'm not hungry.
I have a counseling appointment at 1:00pm. I generally see a counselor once a month. It used to be every week to 2 weeks, but I've gotten better. I have had a lot go on in my life over the last 5 years. Somethings I've been able to deal with, and others... I haven't, or still deal with now.
At the doctor, on their scale I was 214.2- So I was up .2... Today I of course weighed myself at home and the scale said 212.2- If only I could lose those 2.2. I'm still working on reaching my 5 percent goal. Its extremely slow going. They said after the first 2 weeks of this new medicine, I'll notice a difference in how I feel emotionally, and my energy level. I hope so. I hate that I have to go back on meds, but my depression is a factor is why my weight went from 167 all the way up to 228 at my highest (of course I dealt with pregnancies- miscarriages, and ectopic pregnancies- so my body gained and changed during all those phases in my life) I weighed 167 in 2007- I was wearing some size 6's but mostly size 8's and even 10's- it was really dependent upon the make and brand of clothing. I was happy then...by 2008- my gain began. I would be happy in a 10 again- even a 12.
I'm hoping things will get better in the next 2 weeks.
I'm definitely content with low carb eating. It's not even a struggle. It wasn't a struggle to get started back on it again either. Don't get me wrong. I miss fresh fruit, and bread, and my sweets sometimes, but once I get through my 14 day induction or so- we'll see what happens and where I go from there! Rounds 2 started June 19th- and I'm doing good. But my emotions are causing me to eat even when I'm not hungry.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
June 21, 2012 Food Menu
Breakfast:
1 hamburger- plain
3 spoonfuls chocolate mousse
(I was having a bad morning. Today's plan is not at all structured).
20 oz Coke Zero
Lunch:
1 can Tuna Fish
mayo
1 slice of onion
1 can diet pepsi
(at my grandma's house)
Snack:
1/2 of a hamburger
Dinner:
Beef Stew meat fried in butter salt & pepper
Broccoli with garlic butter and lemon
water
Late Night Snack:
1/2 Greek Chicken Souvlaki
1 can of Diet Coke
(this is how I know I'm going through a rough time emotionally)
Water:
[X] [X] [X] [X] [] [] [] []
I'm having a horrible day emotionally. Making me have no desire to do anything active. When it cools down I may go for a bike ride. I could really use the fresh air.
1 hamburger- plain
3 spoonfuls chocolate mousse
(I was having a bad morning. Today's plan is not at all structured).
20 oz Coke Zero
Lunch:
1 can Tuna Fish
mayo
1 slice of onion
1 can diet pepsi
(at my grandma's house)
Snack:
1/2 of a hamburger
Dinner:
Beef Stew meat fried in butter salt & pepper
Broccoli with garlic butter and lemon
water
Late Night Snack:
1/2 Greek Chicken Souvlaki
1 can of Diet Coke
(this is how I know I'm going through a rough time emotionally)
Water:
[X] [X] [X] [X] [] [] [] []
I'm having a horrible day emotionally. Making me have no desire to do anything active. When it cools down I may go for a bike ride. I could really use the fresh air.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Measurements...Eeek!
Measurements (Starting Over)
June 20th, 2012
Neck: 13.25
Upper Arm: 18 (ugh! I gained and inch- oh how I hate my body!)
Chest: 40.5
Bust: 40 (another gain!)
Waist: 37.5 (gain)
Hips: 48
Thigh: 26.25
Knee: 18
Calves: 18.5
Ankle: 10
I added a couple extra measurements from what I was doing last time, only because I want to see if I lose in these areas.
I did tons of research on calf exercises- to find out that it's genetics! So there's not much I can do about it. They say to stretch the muscles, and do lots of cardio, and run. I don't want to bulk up my calves. I want to think them! This will probably be the last place I lose weight too according to the research i've done just because it seems to be my "trouble area".
My arms. I hate. I hate so much, I've literally looked into plastic surgery to cut them off and lipo them. It's a bit pricey, so the old fashioned way it is. Other than the machines at the gym- looks like I'm going to have to dig out the ol' hand held weights and start pumping out light weights with many repetitions!
June 20th, 2012
Neck: 13.25
Upper Arm: 18 (ugh! I gained and inch- oh how I hate my body!)
Chest: 40.5
Bust: 40 (another gain!)
Waist: 37.5 (gain)
Hips: 48
Thigh: 26.25
Knee: 18
Calves: 18.5
Ankle: 10
I added a couple extra measurements from what I was doing last time, only because I want to see if I lose in these areas.
I did tons of research on calf exercises- to find out that it's genetics! So there's not much I can do about it. They say to stretch the muscles, and do lots of cardio, and run. I don't want to bulk up my calves. I want to think them! This will probably be the last place I lose weight too according to the research i've done just because it seems to be my "trouble area".
My arms. I hate. I hate so much, I've literally looked into plastic surgery to cut them off and lipo them. It's a bit pricey, so the old fashioned way it is. Other than the machines at the gym- looks like I'm going to have to dig out the ol' hand held weights and start pumping out light weights with many repetitions!
June 20, 2012 Food Menu
Breakfast:
1 hamburger
mayo, mustard
2 tbsp chopped onion
Blueberry Cofffe with heavy cream
1 packet splenda
Snack:
8oz water (I was actually content with the water no snack needed).
Lunch:
1 hamburger
mayo, mustard
2 tbsp chopped onion
1 tsp worschester sauce
1/2 cup green beans seasoned with butter and black pepper
16 oz water
Snack:
Dinner:
(At Reb lobster)
Shrimp Your Way
2 servings shrimp scampi (20 shrimp- yes I ate them all, as i hate leftover shrimp!)
1/4 cup broccoli ( guessitmate- because it was like 6 pieces).
Water: (8 eight ounce glasses)
[X] [X] [X] [X] [] [] [] []
Exercise:
1 hamburger
mayo, mustard
2 tbsp chopped onion
Blueberry Cofffe with heavy cream
1 packet splenda
Snack:
8oz water (I was actually content with the water no snack needed).
Lunch:
1 hamburger
mayo, mustard
2 tbsp chopped onion
1 tsp worschester sauce
1/2 cup green beans seasoned with butter and black pepper
16 oz water
Snack:
Dinner:
(At Reb lobster)
Shrimp Your Way
2 servings shrimp scampi (20 shrimp- yes I ate them all, as i hate leftover shrimp!)
1/4 cup broccoli ( guessitmate- because it was like 6 pieces).
Water: (8 eight ounce glasses)
[X] [X] [X] [X] [] [] [] []
Exercise:
Hamburgers Mmmmm
Yes! I will go back to weighing myself everyday... because that's what I do. I hate that I obsess over the number on the scale, but I want to get below 200. When I weighed myself yesterday I was 214.6. Today I weighed in at 214.0. It's slow going but .6 is a lot and good when you figure I just went back to low carb yesterday!Now if only I could lose a little everyday! Then it would be perfect. This time I'm following much more closely what I am eating. I kinda know the carb counts for what I am eating, so I just know instead of posting it next to every little thing I eat on my record.
Ever since I started this, I have a terrible want for hamburgers. Suddenly I love to eat hamburgers. At least there is something that I could be happy with eating every single day!
I'm going to attempt to drink more water today.
I'm also going to attempt to get a workout it. I have to do it. I have to stop putting it off and being lazy. I don't know why, normally I can jump right into exercise. Here lately I lack the ambition, desire, and energy to break a sweat. That hasn't come to me yet.
I feel good about what I eat. It just feels so simple. I would just like to see the loss. I know my body, and I kind of know I'm not going to get the results I want anytime soon, unless I kick my butt into high gear with some cardio!
15 pounds to go to One-derland!!
Ever since I started this, I have a terrible want for hamburgers. Suddenly I love to eat hamburgers. At least there is something that I could be happy with eating every single day!
I'm going to attempt to drink more water today.
I'm also going to attempt to get a workout it. I have to do it. I have to stop putting it off and being lazy. I don't know why, normally I can jump right into exercise. Here lately I lack the ambition, desire, and energy to break a sweat. That hasn't come to me yet.
I feel good about what I eat. It just feels so simple. I would just like to see the loss. I know my body, and I kind of know I'm not going to get the results I want anytime soon, unless I kick my butt into high gear with some cardio!
15 pounds to go to One-derland!!
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Why do I eat?
I realized today, that it was nothing to go back to eating low carb. I eat carbs because their there. I don't exactly have cravings. Well, once in a while I do. I realize more and more I do a lot of mindless eating. I eat to fulfill some boredom of some kind... or I eat just simply because it's there. I saw combos sitting on the counter this afternoon. I went to reach for some, and realized... HEY! those aren't for you. I wasn't even hungry.
I'm working on drinking water. 24oz so far today. I know it's not that much, but I'm working on it... and the night isnt over yet.
Exercise is something I need to do. I just lack the ambition there!
Changes... I'm working on making these changes! Step by step!
I'm working on drinking water. 24oz so far today. I know it's not that much, but I'm working on it... and the night isnt over yet.
Exercise is something I need to do. I just lack the ambition there!
Changes... I'm working on making these changes! Step by step!
June 19th, 2012 Food Menu
Breakfast:
hot flax cereal (4g)
coffee with heavy cream
1 packet splenda (1g)
Snack:
1/2 Italian Sausage
4 slices sauteed green pepper
5 slices hot banana peppers
2 sliced onion rings sauteed in butter
Lunch:
1 hamburger
mayo, mustard
2 tbsp chopped onions
1/4 cup sauteed brussel sprouts in EVOO, garlic, salt & pepper
1 can diet coke
Snack:
4 spoonfuls of Chocolate mousse
Dinner:
1 hamburger
mayo, mustard
2 tbsp chopped onions
2 tsp worchister (spelled wrong) sauce
1/4 cup brussel sprouts
Water: (8 eight ounce glasses)
[X] [X] [X] [] [] [] [] []
Exercise:
hot flax cereal (4g)
coffee with heavy cream
1 packet splenda (1g)
Snack:
1/2 Italian Sausage
4 slices sauteed green pepper
5 slices hot banana peppers
2 sliced onion rings sauteed in butter
Lunch:
1 hamburger
mayo, mustard
2 tbsp chopped onions
1/4 cup sauteed brussel sprouts in EVOO, garlic, salt & pepper
1 can diet coke
Snack:
4 spoonfuls of Chocolate mousse
Dinner:
1 hamburger
mayo, mustard
2 tbsp chopped onions
2 tsp worchister (spelled wrong) sauce
1/4 cup brussel sprouts
Water: (8 eight ounce glasses)
[X] [X] [X] [] [] [] [] []
Exercise:
Monday, June 18, 2012
Research
After doing a lot of research this evening, I found where I fell short on much of my induction phase last time. It totally and completely explains WHY I only lost the 5 pounds and didn't have the 9-14 pound success that I kept reading most other's have.
I went to the official Atkin's site, and read through everything. I had no idea that they consider 1 packet of splenda to be 1 carb (problem #1- I was overusing the splenda)
I don't eat enough vegetables. According to the site, it says I could eat approximately 6 cups of loosely packed lettuce, and 2 cups of cooked vegetables. I wasn't eating nearly that much in vegetables. In fact I maybe had 2 cups a day.
I use a lot of heavy cream the site doesn't say anything about it. It just lists it as a part of the beverages and says to note the carb count.
I definitely have a meal plan set for the things I currently have in the house. It should last me through until Sunday. I'm going to try to really kick up the protein intake just to kick my butt into ketosis.
Time well spent. :)
I went to the official Atkin's site, and read through everything. I had no idea that they consider 1 packet of splenda to be 1 carb (problem #1- I was overusing the splenda)
I don't eat enough vegetables. According to the site, it says I could eat approximately 6 cups of loosely packed lettuce, and 2 cups of cooked vegetables. I wasn't eating nearly that much in vegetables. In fact I maybe had 2 cups a day.
I use a lot of heavy cream the site doesn't say anything about it. It just lists it as a part of the beverages and says to note the carb count.
I definitely have a meal plan set for the things I currently have in the house. It should last me through until Sunday. I'm going to try to really kick up the protein intake just to kick my butt into ketosis.
Time well spent. :)
The Downfalls...
Weeeeeell, I can say I started out good this morning, and for lunch ended up with a burger. I ate the bread- yes I'm guilty as charged! And I also had a mocha that my mother brought home for me. I guess I failed to mention I was starting over. It's a $5.00 drink, I drank it. I hate to see it go to waste.. that lead to my burger fix. I'm ok about it though. I messed up, and I'm owning it. So from here on out, I will get back on track to where I need and want to be.
I will say, the amount of chocolate in my iced mocha was SO OVERWHELMING! I actually added more skim milk to it, and some water. I was shocked. I honestly can't believe I used to drink a Venti Mocha nearly everyday. I look at the amount of money I'm saving not drinking those, but the sugar and sweetness really knocked me off my feet! It was really just that bad!
I know it will take me about 3 days to get back on track, and kick myself into a small/moderate ketosis, so I expect by Tuesday I will be right back where I need to be. However, I'm going to take the necessary steps to the extent of counting carbs, and calories and whatever I need to do during this induction phase.
I'm going to make myself a menu for the week. I'll use what I have in the house, and make a menu of it. Surprisingly I have a lot of low carb options to work with, so I won't even need to go shopping. I'll probably need a heavy cream, but that's probably all I'm going to need and a carton of eggs.
Water, I have to learn to drink more water. Force myself is more like it!
I feel like I'm going through a lot right now. I am. Breaking up, Letting go, Moving on...Getting myself together. All reasons I want to turn to food... but I have to find peace with all these issues and move forth and better myself.
I'm happy to say I have an interview for a new job tomorrow. So I have to get my emotions together, and myself together, and be ready for what's thrown at me tomorrow. I really hope everything goes well. I really want this job!
As Always, I am a total work in progress.
I will say, the amount of chocolate in my iced mocha was SO OVERWHELMING! I actually added more skim milk to it, and some water. I was shocked. I honestly can't believe I used to drink a Venti Mocha nearly everyday. I look at the amount of money I'm saving not drinking those, but the sugar and sweetness really knocked me off my feet! It was really just that bad!
I know it will take me about 3 days to get back on track, and kick myself into a small/moderate ketosis, so I expect by Tuesday I will be right back where I need to be. However, I'm going to take the necessary steps to the extent of counting carbs, and calories and whatever I need to do during this induction phase.
I'm going to make myself a menu for the week. I'll use what I have in the house, and make a menu of it. Surprisingly I have a lot of low carb options to work with, so I won't even need to go shopping. I'll probably need a heavy cream, but that's probably all I'm going to need and a carton of eggs.
Water, I have to learn to drink more water. Force myself is more like it!
I feel like I'm going through a lot right now. I am. Breaking up, Letting go, Moving on...Getting myself together. All reasons I want to turn to food... but I have to find peace with all these issues and move forth and better myself.
I'm happy to say I have an interview for a new job tomorrow. So I have to get my emotions together, and myself together, and be ready for what's thrown at me tomorrow. I really hope everything goes well. I really want this job!
As Always, I am a total work in progress.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Starting OVER...
So, I've been gone for a little while... unfortunately! I won't make any excuses. Somehow I got really frustrated with my results. I became upset, and indulged in everything I've wanted to eat, that I had given up, because the numbers on the scale weren't going down, and inch wise, it's only little by very little.
Now, I know I don't need to be some rocket scientist to know that I can't be skinny or lose weight over night, but it's very discouraging to give up all the foods you love and substitute them for stuff your eating and seeing no changes.
I will say this, since taking my hiatus, I feel terrible- physically, emotionally, mentally. I'm exhausted. My energy is down- I really just feel blah! (on a side note, I do have other problems with anxiety, and depression- which is something I have an appt to follow up on with the doctor, so we will see what happens there- probably another cause to my lack of energy and laziness). Once I started eating carbs again, I'm just tired all the time. Other than the depressed state and stress factors of my life- I'm very tired. No matter what I eat, it's like I literally have to lay down.
Today is father's day! Happy Father's Day to my wonderful Daddy!! He's the best! I guess we're planning on going to dinner somewhere, so I'm sure there will be bread. Today will be my last day of carbs. Because starting tomorrow. I am starting over. I am making the changes I need to make in all areas of my life. I'm giving myself 6 months to get my life together (not get skinny or to goal but to get ME together).
More to come!!
Measurements, Weight, etc- I will get everything up to date!
Now, I know I don't need to be some rocket scientist to know that I can't be skinny or lose weight over night, but it's very discouraging to give up all the foods you love and substitute them for stuff your eating and seeing no changes.
I will say this, since taking my hiatus, I feel terrible- physically, emotionally, mentally. I'm exhausted. My energy is down- I really just feel blah! (on a side note, I do have other problems with anxiety, and depression- which is something I have an appt to follow up on with the doctor, so we will see what happens there- probably another cause to my lack of energy and laziness). Once I started eating carbs again, I'm just tired all the time. Other than the depressed state and stress factors of my life- I'm very tired. No matter what I eat, it's like I literally have to lay down.
Today is father's day! Happy Father's Day to my wonderful Daddy!! He's the best! I guess we're planning on going to dinner somewhere, so I'm sure there will be bread. Today will be my last day of carbs. Because starting tomorrow. I am starting over. I am making the changes I need to make in all areas of my life. I'm giving myself 6 months to get my life together (not get skinny or to goal but to get ME together).
More to come!!
Measurements, Weight, etc- I will get everything up to date!
Friday, June 8, 2012
Friday June 8th, 2012
Food Menu:
Breakfast:
3 original brown & serve sausage links (2g)
1 crystal light iced tea
Snack:
1/2 cup cucumber slices (2g)
1 packet tuna w/ mayo salt & pepper
Lunch:
hot flax cereal (2g) ** I googled 1/4 cup of heavy cream and most sites say it's about 2g of carb?
I cup coffee w/ heavy cream and splenda
Snack:
1/2 cup cucumber slices (2g)
1 packet tuna w/ mayo salt & peper
Dinner:
Approx Carb Count:
Water:
[X] [X] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ]
Exercise:
Breakfast:
3 original brown & serve sausage links (2g)
1 crystal light iced tea
Snack:
1/2 cup cucumber slices (2g)
1 packet tuna w/ mayo salt & pepper
Lunch:
hot flax cereal (2g) ** I googled 1/4 cup of heavy cream and most sites say it's about 2g of carb?
I cup coffee w/ heavy cream and splenda
Snack:
1/2 cup cucumber slices (2g)
1 packet tuna w/ mayo salt & peper
Dinner:
Approx Carb Count:
Water:
[X] [X] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ]
Exercise:
Confession
This weightloss cycle is a constant rollercoaster in my life. I do extreme yo-yo dieting. I've taken diet pills, I've gone to see a medical weightloss doctor. I've done many things and many programs, but one things always stays true. I am 100% emotional eater. I eat when I'm sad, I eat when I'm depressed, I even eat when I'm happy- I celebrate with drinks- strawberry margarita's, and foods of all sorts. Anything that makes me feel better in that time. It generally relates to food. If not food, my other go-to is shopping. I'm a very mild manic depressive- which I was on anti-depressants for, however I chose to stop them. My depression is currently at moderate depending on what life throws at me, and my anxiety- well, thats another issue in itself. I know what is the cause of my anxiety.
Anyway- food is probably my worst addiction ever. I struggle and kill myself all the time, for such a small loss and then I get disappointed and turn to what comforts me- food, chocolate, ice cream, cookies- chocolate confetti pepridge farms cake (yes, I've sat an eaten a whole one in one sitting). I get to a point where I don't see the results everyone else sees quick enough, and I throw in the towel- as I did last night and ate the chinese food.
There are a number of things that are affecting me, and I just need to make the changes I need to make.
1. I need another job, yes I resigned my position at my current one, but there's some things going on in there that I don't agree with, and I just cannot work the overnight anymore. I've done much research and statistics show that people who work 3rd shift suffer a higher rate of depression, sleep deprivation/insomnia, and obesity, as well as other health problems. I struggle with a sleep schedule, and I gained weight from working this job. I think I need adequate amounts of sleep in order to remain healthy and maintain a healthy lifestyle. This weighs heavy on my health and weight loss success. I nap. I don't get the required amount of sleep and its stressful. Even though i chose to quit this job, I still worry about money, and when and where I will find my next job. My parents of course will help me out, but I hate to ask them for money. I'm getting too old for that.
2. I stress because I've loaned out a lot of money to a friend- I should just face the facts and come to terms with the fact that more than likely, I will never see the 3 grand I've shelled out in the last year. Yes, "borrow" was the word- but more times than not, people don't pay what they owe. I need to find a way to let it go. I can always find a job. I can always make more money. Stressing makes me want to turn to food.
3. School is hard- again stressful. I've put so much money into my education and being at this college for Nursing, and I find myself sometimes questioning... is nursing what I really want to get into? Self-doubt.
There's more, I know... but I'm so tired I need to go to sleep. I got off work at 8:30. I'm ready for sleep- and knowing me- sleep means a 3 hour nap at most, then I'm up for the rest of the day until I go back to work at midnight.
Anyway- food is probably my worst addiction ever. I struggle and kill myself all the time, for such a small loss and then I get disappointed and turn to what comforts me- food, chocolate, ice cream, cookies- chocolate confetti pepridge farms cake (yes, I've sat an eaten a whole one in one sitting). I get to a point where I don't see the results everyone else sees quick enough, and I throw in the towel- as I did last night and ate the chinese food.
There are a number of things that are affecting me, and I just need to make the changes I need to make.
1. I need another job, yes I resigned my position at my current one, but there's some things going on in there that I don't agree with, and I just cannot work the overnight anymore. I've done much research and statistics show that people who work 3rd shift suffer a higher rate of depression, sleep deprivation/insomnia, and obesity, as well as other health problems. I struggle with a sleep schedule, and I gained weight from working this job. I think I need adequate amounts of sleep in order to remain healthy and maintain a healthy lifestyle. This weighs heavy on my health and weight loss success. I nap. I don't get the required amount of sleep and its stressful. Even though i chose to quit this job, I still worry about money, and when and where I will find my next job. My parents of course will help me out, but I hate to ask them for money. I'm getting too old for that.
2. I stress because I've loaned out a lot of money to a friend- I should just face the facts and come to terms with the fact that more than likely, I will never see the 3 grand I've shelled out in the last year. Yes, "borrow" was the word- but more times than not, people don't pay what they owe. I need to find a way to let it go. I can always find a job. I can always make more money. Stressing makes me want to turn to food.
3. School is hard- again stressful. I've put so much money into my education and being at this college for Nursing, and I find myself sometimes questioning... is nursing what I really want to get into? Self-doubt.
There's more, I know... but I'm so tired I need to go to sleep. I got off work at 8:30. I'm ready for sleep- and knowing me- sleep means a 3 hour nap at most, then I'm up for the rest of the day until I go back to work at midnight.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
I cheated...
In my moment of feeling like crap over the numbers on the scale not going down.. I cheated and ate chinese food. Enough said.
UGH! Tomorrow is a new day.
UGH! Tomorrow is a new day.
Confused...
Is it me or is it my scale?
I've been following this low carb plan and doing well. My appetite has decreased significantly and I'm eating less. I know I have a few problem areas too, because I need to eat more vegetables. I eat a lot of meat, and I'm not drinking enough water. I also need to workout. With all the meat I do eat, I'm always in moderate ketosis. Only once was I in Large Ketosis because I check alot.
I'm losing inches, small and slow, but their definitely leaving! I look at other blogs of people who lost between 9 and 14 pounds the first week. I realize I've had a couple cheat days in my plan, but I've only lost 5 pounds. When do the numbers on the scale start to go down?
Ahhh, my struggle! Ordinarily this would be the point in the past where I lose interest and say it's not working, and I want a different plan, but I'm content on this plan. I need to maybe measure better, and write everything down. Maybe I need to count exact carbs and look at my calorie intake? I feel stuck. I need fluids and exercise.
On another note June 11th is my last day of work. YES! I happily applied for a new job where a friend of mine works and she's trying to have them pull my application and put me through training starting the 25th of June. I so badly hope I can move on to something better with better benefits, higher pay, and better hours.
I've been following this low carb plan and doing well. My appetite has decreased significantly and I'm eating less. I know I have a few problem areas too, because I need to eat more vegetables. I eat a lot of meat, and I'm not drinking enough water. I also need to workout. With all the meat I do eat, I'm always in moderate ketosis. Only once was I in Large Ketosis because I check alot.
I'm losing inches, small and slow, but their definitely leaving! I look at other blogs of people who lost between 9 and 14 pounds the first week. I realize I've had a couple cheat days in my plan, but I've only lost 5 pounds. When do the numbers on the scale start to go down?
Ahhh, my struggle! Ordinarily this would be the point in the past where I lose interest and say it's not working, and I want a different plan, but I'm content on this plan. I need to maybe measure better, and write everything down. Maybe I need to count exact carbs and look at my calorie intake? I feel stuck. I need fluids and exercise.
On another note June 11th is my last day of work. YES! I happily applied for a new job where a friend of mine works and she's trying to have them pull my application and put me through training starting the 25th of June. I so badly hope I can move on to something better with better benefits, higher pay, and better hours.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Measurements (Week 3)
Weight: 211.4
Neck: 13.25
Chest: 40.5
Bust: 39
Waist: 37
Hips: 48
Thigh: 26
Calves: 18.5
Upper Arm: 17
Overall this week was ok. There's not a huge loss in inches, and that's ok. My weight is up 4 ounces, that could be because of a number of reasons. I do however think I need a new scale because everytime I get on my scale- I weigh myself 3 times, and today It gave me 3 different numbers. 211.0, 211.4, and 212.2. I went with 211.4 only because I got that number more than once (because I weighed myself like 6 times instead lol)
I think if I incorporated the gym, I would see a lot of difference in my weight, and inches being lost.
The weekend....
So my weekend went pretty good, relaxed and stress free. I'm so off schedule from picking up these days to work the overnights at that job though. I'm done on the 11th of June, and I have to say... I just can't do it anymore. I really thought about going back and staying since they asked me to, but I can't. I need to something that fits me much better because of my health, and the schedule of my life.
Sunday was great. Spent time with good people, and had the most amazing Indian food ever...delicious and well worth the cheat! I also went for coffee at the coffee place around the way, and yes...yes, shameful as it is- I purchased a glazed doughnut and ate it all!
Monday I got right back on track though. I skipped weighing in on Monday, So I'm a day late on measurements and weight.
Last week wasn't the greatest, there was a number of things. I don't know if I eat too many calories, or if maybe my appetite has decreased so much on some days and I'm not eating enough.
I know my lack of interest in working out here lately is a problem too. I have no idea what the problem is because normally I enjoy working out. I'm able to push myself through and make myself go because I know I'll feel good when it's all said and done... but I just can't get up the energy to go! It's 5 days into a new month, so I have to get going and make changes for this month!
I want to see inches gone, and pounds dropped!
Food Today:
Breakfast:
Coffee w/ 1 tsp coffee mate 1 splenda
4 eggs ( only made 4 egg whites and 2 egg yolks)
salt & pepper
Snack:
English Breakfast Tea
2 tbsp heavy cream 1 splenda
2 pepperjack cheese sticks
Lunch:
Pizza Casserole ( i also got this recipe idea from Kelly's blog, however I didn't have the same ingredients. I used what I had at the house.)
Snack:
1 cup lettuce
2 tbsp ranch dressing
Dinner:
Pizza Casserole
*EXERCISE*
3 mile walk at the high school track while my brother played lacrosse
Sunday was great. Spent time with good people, and had the most amazing Indian food ever...delicious and well worth the cheat! I also went for coffee at the coffee place around the way, and yes...yes, shameful as it is- I purchased a glazed doughnut and ate it all!
Monday I got right back on track though. I skipped weighing in on Monday, So I'm a day late on measurements and weight.
Last week wasn't the greatest, there was a number of things. I don't know if I eat too many calories, or if maybe my appetite has decreased so much on some days and I'm not eating enough.
I know my lack of interest in working out here lately is a problem too. I have no idea what the problem is because normally I enjoy working out. I'm able to push myself through and make myself go because I know I'll feel good when it's all said and done... but I just can't get up the energy to go! It's 5 days into a new month, so I have to get going and make changes for this month!
I want to see inches gone, and pounds dropped!
Food Today:
Breakfast:
Coffee w/ 1 tsp coffee mate 1 splenda
4 eggs ( only made 4 egg whites and 2 egg yolks)
salt & pepper
Snack:
English Breakfast Tea
2 tbsp heavy cream 1 splenda
2 pepperjack cheese sticks
Lunch:
Pizza Casserole ( i also got this recipe idea from Kelly's blog, however I didn't have the same ingredients. I used what I had at the house.)
Snack:
1 cup lettuce
2 tbsp ranch dressing
Dinner:
Pizza Casserole
*EXERCISE*
3 mile walk at the high school track while my brother played lacrosse
Friday, June 1, 2012
Gotta figure something out!
So I was called back into work (even though I gave my notice) They're asking me to work because they are so short staffed. I might help out for a while... but I quit for a reason.
One the shift totally sucks. It's 12am-10am, and that's 10 hours of where I do nothing but count medications, watch t.v. and of course EAT. So last night, keeping myself awake and trying to find something to snack on, I realized that 1 there was nothing in the place that I could eat. I'm pretty sure I kicked myself out or have such a Trace amount of Ketones is because of the amount of sugar free jello snack packs I ate last night. I had like 3 cheese sticks too. That's the problem in working shift like that- that's also where most of my weight gain came from. So now, when I go back in tonight at midnight, I need to have a better plan packed with me. My eating schedule is clearly messed up now because I came home at 8am( i left early) and went right to sleep. I got up and had breakfast at 2pm which was a left over burger with mayo, mustard and a thin slice of onion. I gotta put myself back into ketosis.
Still a no go with the gym- I don't know what is with me!! I need to get myself together and MAKE MYSELF GO! I need a routine!
It's cold, and rainy, and i don't have much of any energy at all. I don't know what to expect come weigh in and measurements day!
One the shift totally sucks. It's 12am-10am, and that's 10 hours of where I do nothing but count medications, watch t.v. and of course EAT. So last night, keeping myself awake and trying to find something to snack on, I realized that 1 there was nothing in the place that I could eat. I'm pretty sure I kicked myself out or have such a Trace amount of Ketones is because of the amount of sugar free jello snack packs I ate last night. I had like 3 cheese sticks too. That's the problem in working shift like that- that's also where most of my weight gain came from. So now, when I go back in tonight at midnight, I need to have a better plan packed with me. My eating schedule is clearly messed up now because I came home at 8am( i left early) and went right to sleep. I got up and had breakfast at 2pm which was a left over burger with mayo, mustard and a thin slice of onion. I gotta put myself back into ketosis.
Still a no go with the gym- I don't know what is with me!! I need to get myself together and MAKE MYSELF GO! I need a routine!
It's cold, and rainy, and i don't have much of any energy at all. I don't know what to expect come weigh in and measurements day!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)