Tired Tuesday... and the cabbage soup diet?

I didn't sleep well last night. Most likely because I was stressing about my test this mornng. I think I did ok, but I definitely could've done better.

I am so tired today- the more tired  I am, it seems the more mindless things I do. All I seem to think about is food, and when and what I am going to eat- even when I'm not hungry.

So far, my day has not been the best of decisions. I've ate junk and made some unconscious decisions along the way.

7:00 AM: Stopped at Starbucks for a Grande Salted Caramel Mocha with an extra shot of espresso and 1 1/2 pumps of chocolate.

9:00 AM: Went to Tim Horton's with Brittany on break after the test to get her some breakfast. It was supposed to be for her, and I ended up with a sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit, with a bottle of water.

12:00 PM: Taco Tuesday at School- Large Beef and Cheese White soft shell taco with lettuce, tomato, and hot sauce- diet coke.

Majority of my caloric intake has been in the last 5 hours. That's a big consumption for a 5 hour period of time. I'm not happy with it, but I'm glad I am taking note to the things I am doing. I definitely need to start making these things change.

So, I'll have dinner someting light and small, and a sweet snack cuz I'm a sweet addict, like a low calorie cereal bar just to satisfy my sweet tooth, but I'm thinking it is going to be a salad tonight- if I'm even hungry.

Exercise is definitely called for. I walked 1 mile yesterday- I'm thinking I will do the full loop of the street tonight- that equals to be about 2.03 miles, and possibly some other things that I can do at home.

I'd like to use my gym membershit 2-3 days a week since it is paid for. Then I won't feel too bad about it going to waste.

I've been reading different things that people are doing, and I've heard of this many times, but I've noticed people are doing this Cabbage Soup Diet- whats the deal with that? I looked it up- it seems easy enough.... any input or thoughts on that? Please let me know.

September...

Today was the last weigh in for September, and I was unsuccessful in any kind of loss, in fact- I gained 4 ounces. I suspected this would be the case, I actually expected more, but I'm happy it was not the case. Soooooooo with that being said. Next weigh in is October 1st, and it's gonna be time to put my best foot forward. I am making my own halloween costume for a party on the 27th, I know it's not a huge difference in appearance but I am going to work very very hard to lose 4 pounds this month and keep it off, I know people are probably like 4 pounds, seriously? Yes seriously- the tricky part for me is keeping it off!!! I'm hoping for October to be a better month than September was. I'm doing really well in school, but probably because I'm not working. My parents decided it'd be best if I didn't work this year and finish this schooling up, and get a job in the summer when it's over! So I'm happy with that, though I wish I had some income for little extra things I like. So, that gives me more time to do something about this getting healthy part of my life... Eating better, planning meals, organizing my life, and EXERCISE!

Food Diary:

Breakfast:
2 eggs, scrambled
1/2 Banana
Coffee
2 tbsp. coffee mate

Snack:
Grande Salted Caramel Mocha

Lunch:
1 Sesame seed roll
2 slices turkey
1 slice ham
2 slices lorraine swiss (my favorite mmm)
1 tbsp mayo
1 tbsp spices sub oil
1 cup BBQ frito's
4oz Canada Dry Ginger Ale

Dinner:
1/2 Chicken Souvlaki w/ feta
1/4 Greek dressing (its a lot, but it was poured over the entire salad, not just the portion i ate)
8oz Cherry Coke

In all, eating today wasnt so great. I should've probably made some better choices given I could've skipped sodas for bottles of water. Tomorrow will be better

Walked 1.09 miles today.

EDIT (9/25)
Last night I was stressing about my test at 8am, and without even realizing it, I went to the kitchen for a drink and ate 4 Oreo's and a Brownie- NOT GOOD, that is my comfort, coping mechanism in most situations. That needs to stop- I need to stop and think before I put something in my mouth!!!

Where does the time go?

Days used to seem like they lasted forever. Now, they fly by so fast. It's already the end of September, and I haven't had much success. I get motivated, and then I lose it! Fact is, I have to force myself. I need to force myself to drink water, force myself to exercise, and force myself to eat better. I make little changes here and there, buying low fat, light or fat free instead of the regular brands... but its not enough.

Last week I had a 4.0 pound gain and I have no idea why! I know i wasn't exercising, but I surely was not eating badly and when it came time to weigh in I was up 4.0 pounds, those are the days I throw in the towel and say the heck with it, and eat bad- just like I did this past week. Now I'm feeling like crap. Now I feel sluggish, run down, and blah! Tomorrows weigh in and I'm expecting a gain, so I won't be too disappointed when the numbers go up.

Tomorrow starts a new week, so I'll be making the effort to once again make better choices, and I have to exercise. I'm going to try to walk for 30 mins everyday. I need to do something.

Pray for me!

*sigh*...

I often look and read other people's blogs, and it makes me want to try the plan they follow. Everyone seems to be doing weight watchers, then I remember what my point limit is, and I look through the book, and look up the things I like to eat, and then I get disappointed and discouraged when I see how much some foods are in points! One meal I love and only get occasionally is the famous bowl from KFC- 17 points... and then I get fed up.

I love the idea of low carb because I felt better and full, and had energy, and I'm a meat eater- so it was great! Then there came the issue of summer and wanting ice cream, and I love bread and potatoes and so many of the forbidden carbs!! I got discouraged there when the avg person lost 9-10 pounds the first week...and me, I only lost 5, and then maybe 1 pound there after.

What to do, what to do.... It's always the issue. I love food, but how can I possibly cut back on my caloric intake, and increase my exercise?? I just don't know. I start off my day pretty well, then by mid afternoon, I'm way off track. I have to figure out what will work for me, and being able to eat what I like, but in moderation instead of settling for "diet foods"- I ordinarilly don't eat rice cakes, so why waste the money on them when they just sit in the cabinet- oh yeah, i forgot i read a plan that said they were good for a snack. I need to eat better well balanced meals, I know. But it sucks!

Anyhoo, I won't stress over that right now. I'll figure something out.

I was hired for a job- I went yesterday to the orientation, and well- lets just say that job is completely and totally not for me. After discussing it with my parents, they said to let the place know, I won't be working for them. I came home, and ate myself into a food coma because it stressed me out so bad, and as an emotional eater thats what I did! The schedule they wanted me to work, on top of nursing school was out of this world. I get out of class at 4:30 on some days (today for example) so they wanted me to work from 5pm until 12am, all throughout the week. Mind you I have 8am classes, and 7am clinicals, so after being expected to work until 12am, I would still have to come home and do homework or study and then be expected to get up at 5:30 in the morning to get ready and make it to my 7am clinical. They said a bunch of times they'll work around my class schedule, great! but do you know anyone in nursing school, or who has gone through nursing school? it's not the average college curriculumn. It is severely time consuming, and entails a lot of reading, research and work! With a schedule like that during the week- WHEN DO I HAVE TIME TO SLEEP?!!!!??? This was one of the problems last semester, other than some personal issues, I worked a full time overnight job which severely interfered with my grades. I need something simple, I don't mind working the weekends, but give me a break. I am by no means at all Super Woman. I'll look for something else in the meantime, maybe a little restaurant or coffee shop, or something like that. Something that allows me to leave at a reasonable hour and still have time to do homework and gives me time for myself.

Since I'm only dealing with school at the current moment, that will definitely give me time to work on getting healthy and finding different activites that I will enjoy and allow me to drop some pounds, lose some inches, and get fit. Getting healthy and working out can be a full time job in itself, let alone everything else I am trying to do.

Just for now, I am trying to set a small goal. I want to get out of the 200's. My effort is going to focus on getting out of that range of numbers, and I say small because I don't totally have that many pounds to lose to get there, but I want a 1 starting my weight, NOT A 2!! I ultimately want to get healthy and feel better, so weight loss isn't my exact focus, but it will be a big plus. I have some health issues, and I need to build myself up, so those issues don't get out of hand.

Well, off to class. Hope you all have a fabulous weekend!

Morning Workout

I did this workout this morning. It sure woke me up!! It was a little difficult for me because as I've mentioned before, I'm very out of shape. Not too bad though. I only had to take one break, but the regular push ups is something I cannot do, and have never been able to do, even in gym class as a child. I also have trouble with the thrust part at the end of the video but I did as much as I could do. I definitely worked up a sweat, and felt good when it was all done with.

I'm trying to do my best to incorporate as much as I can, when I can.

I still have my scale obsession. I need to hide it, I weigh myself everyday. I was up a few ounces which of course is disappointing, but yesterday, I didn't eat so well, and didn't drink enough water.

Today is a new day to do better!

Never Let Your Memories Be Greater Than Your Dreams...

I spend so much time hanging on to the size 8 jeans that I used to fit. They have some sort of memory that I hang on to when I felt good, and thought I looked good. Then I became the size I am now- somewhere between a 14 and a 16 depending on the day, and well, you know how it goes. I made the decision to get rid of alot of that old stuff. Infact, I threw them in garbage bags and sent them to my Aunt's house for her kids to wear. I didn't do it because I'm saying I'll never be that size again, I did it because I will be there again. I have to make changes. I'm so quick to give up when I'm tired, and want what I want.

I barely drink soda anymore. Once in a while I do, just because I love a pop with certain foods. I drink water, though I drink no where near enough, I make it a point to carry a water bottle with me, pretty much anywhere I go, so that I always have it with me, and not tempted to buy something from the corner stores, or the vending machines. I'm a coffee addict too. I can't seem to function without it.

I spend so much time looking at these quick easy methods where your "supposed" to drop weight quick... But I've come across a few blogs where people are losing, and show and talk about their struggles, and set backs but their still going for it. It's motivational. I need to be stronger. It's so easy for me to say oh I'll eat it now, and tomorrow I'll be better. Those habits and tendencies need to stop.  So.... I'm going to set a couple goals for the rest of the week until my weigh in on Monday.

Goals:

1. Drink at least 3 (16.9 fl. oz) bottle of water a day
2. Exercise at least 30 minutes 3 times.
3. No fried food.

I'm not going to set a "weight loss goal"- I'm just happy with losing whatever will be lost with the changes that come. 

One of those days...

I was up late last night studying for my first test of the semester. I don't think I did too terribly bad... the first test is just one of those things you either ace or bomb because you don't know what to expect from the professor, and their testing style. I may be going out on a limb, but I'm going to say I'm in the range of 80's.

I wasn't much in the mood for getting out of bed this morning either, so I look like total crap. Threw on some sweats, and ran out the door, hair pulled back in a messy pony tail, and no make up on- thats a rarity, however, the sweats are an everyday thing for me. None of my jeans seem to fit anymore.

On my way out of the house, I ran into my mothers room to grab something and stopped and looked in her mirror, and took notice to how incredibly large I look. I always say to myself, I'm not that big... but after looking in her mirror I was like NO WAY. I was in a groggy waking up process, but still- I know what I saw, and what I seen was NOT pretty. No wonder my clothes don't fit me. This is the real deal!

I did some plank exercises that were recommended by a fellow blogger/reader, and let me tell ya- I only did what I could handle, because I am completely and utterly out of shape to the max. I'm almost a little embarressed because I watched the video saying to myself, "oh this won't be too bad- quick and easy" Quick maybe- easy, not so much, in fact, my abdominal muscles are slightly sore today- not overwhelmingly sore, but enough for me to feel it a little when I move in certain directions. That's a good thing. I will have to continue with those, if I am going to make some changes.

I have to make a lot of changes overall. My McDonalds Bagel Breakfast was not the best choice, but I ate it and enjoyed every bite of it too. It sucks to love food, and suffer the outcomes of gaining the weight, and hating to exercise.

Oh well, on with the rest of my day!
Hope you all have a good one!

Monday Weigh In

I'm down another 1.4 pounds (totaling 3.4), I'm happy with that. It's slow going but it is still a loss.

I'm not feeling the greatest today. I didn't finish all my oatmeal for breakfast, and slept most of the day.

Going to try to make this week better and have another loss!

Tomorrow starts a new week... :)

I wouldn't say this week was a complete fail, but I just lack the ambition to want to work out. I don't know. Maybe now that fall is starting to settle in, and the weather is becoming cooler, I will want to walk more or do something. I just hated working out in the heat, and I'm bored with the gym- what a waste of money that membership was. I'll never get another gym membership again.

I've had some good days and some bad days eating last week. So I'm willing to take any loss, I get... I can't get upset if I'm not putting full effort into something, and I'm not because I'm not focusing on the workout portion of getting healthy, and I have a hard time saying no to junk food!

It's hard to blog everything too because I don't exactly have the time. I get up at 5:30 in the morning to get ready for school, and then I'm in clinicals by 7am on certain days, and then I'm in classes by 8am on other days. My life is completely switched around. I can't say that I hate it either, because it's actually not so bad.

I just wish I could get things worked on with my weight loss progression. Because it is very slow going.

I'll do my best to try harder this week. Tomorrow is weigh in...so I'll be sure to post!

Back and Forth...

I always go back and forth between diets, I did low carb for a while, lost a few pounds, stopped because of my health problems and lack of focus, and then of course gained the weight lost back, plus some. I bought books of The Biggest Loser, they're very helpful- however it is so inconvenient to count calories... I'm almost tossing around the idea of going back on WW just because its easier to look up point values for take out places than to count the calories of what the heck your eating in a restaurant. I like to eat at home, but I also like to go out once in a while. Ugh, it's just one of those things. Maybe I can follow the Biggest Loser plan, but instead of counting every calorie, I'll just count it in a point value. Most recipe's reccomended by the biggest loser books are WW friendly. Ohhh so many decisions. I just need to be able to do something that is going to be convenient in a sense for snacking and what I can bring to school to eat. I've been bringing things to eat at school, and its actually saving me from the horrible vending machine choices I've routinely gotten in the past.

I've definitely become a major coffee addict though. I don;t know what it is but here lately I love coffee. Eating wise, I am definitely making better choices. At least I think so. I also have given up soda. I have one once in a blue moon. Other than that I have been drinking water. I occassionally use the diet snapple and crystal light packets. Those are nice to have in handy as well.

I went and searched through some old things where I had a lost a ton of weight before, and am going to try to go back to my old plan somewhat and combine the biggest loser, and maybe ww. I want the most bang for my buck here! lol Lack of a better metaphor, but I've spent tons of money on diet and fitness books, equipment, gym memberships, etc... I want to get the most out of it.

I went out and bought a lovely desk calendar (which I prefer to hang on the back of my bedroom door than sit on the desk) and I am going to use it to track my daily events of course, and my weightloss and exercise progress as well. I had a smaller one, but it just didn't do it for me. I won it at a bridal shower, so it didn't hurt me too much to toss the thing and go back to the way I used to do things. I have cute little stickers that I'm going to use to track my progress, and etc.

From last week to now, I was down 2 pounds. I feel good about it. I'm hoping if I can work things out here, that I'll be able to go for 3 pounds this week. I'm thinking of alternating weekly trying different workout routines and gym rotations to see what will work. Obviously I need a serious commitment to all of this, but I'm feeling better, and have had much impovement in my emotional and mental life... Now I'm hoping to improve the physical aspects.

I recently went to an LL Cool J concert, and jokingly I posted a picture of him that I had taken on to my facebook saying "My husband" I found out later that the "friends" I keep on facebook were laughing at me and making rude remarks about how LL Cool J wouldn't even look twice at my fat ass. Now, I realize that, but I know I've gained weight... and these girls that call themselves friends, are nothing to write home about themselves... I've been skinny before, and yes as the emotional eater I am, and the I hate to exercise personality I have... I gained a significant amount of weight over the last 4 years. All those "friends" of mine can kiss my ass. I don't even care that they were trying to say hurtful things, but once this is all said and done, and I'm back on track... I'll be the one laughing last.

Anywho- off to class I go.

Have a great and Healthy Day!!

Another Week :) Down 2 pounds

It's hard for me to blog on a regular basis because my laptop seems to be under the weather here lately. I don't know what's wrong with it, for no reason at all it gets really hot, and then shuts off after 20 minutes of use. I'm thinking I need a new one. It is going on 5 years old, and I definitely got my use out of it!!

Last week was a little slow going, but I ate less, and I did try to make better choices. I had a loss, a small loss, but I'm starting to realize that any loss is better than a gain!

I'm trying to get motivated on working out! I have no motivation to go to the gym. I'm not exactly a gym kind of person, but I need to be, because all that money spent is going to waste!

This week is going to be much better!

I'm back to school. So far so good. I need to keep up on the readings though. I now have a part time job. Orientation starts next week. I've kind of got a schedule going, so once I get a work schedule, I will definitely be finding the time to get in the exercise.

I'm going to go for a walk later this evening after dinner. Then I'm going to sit down and do this reading... and go to sleep- 5:30am comes quick!!

I'm going to do it this week! I'm staying positive!!