Just Not Feelin It...

I don't know what is with me. Strangely, ever since I've started this low carb change, my appetite has decreased significantly... which I cannot say that I am at all complaining about it. I'm still in my induction phase which I planned to do for 2 weeks. I'm actually okay and content on how I'm eating, that I may continue with it for a week longer and then progress with adding a little more to it like sunflower seeds and etc.

I actually have planned a few cheat days for the month of June so I am trying to be as good as possible, while I am able. This coming Sunday, I have lunch plans with an old friend to go to this new Taste of India restaurant, though I'm sure I could find a way to eat low carb, I want to go and eat the white rice that is available. I know there's a significant amount of Carbs in Rice, but it's only 1 day for 1 meal. I plan to eat in moderation. Sadly, I am very excited to go eat, but also to spend time with my friend. She is one of the best people I know in life! I'm looking forward to it!

Then, on June 15th, I am hosting a purse party with all my girlfriends. That is also a cheat day because of the alcohol consumption- and one thing I'm good at making is jello shots, and strawberry margaritas! So I plan to have a couple of those.

and lastly, June 24th will be a cheat day because it is my niece's baptism, and there will be tons of food for the party afterward here at the house. Some foods that I know I won't be able to pass up.

In such an odd way, I'm very content. However, I am just not into working out. Normally that's my savior and outlet, but here lately I just can't get my butt going. That's what happens though, you slack too many days too long, and trying to push yourself to go is a struggle. I hate that I have no motivation to go because after the first 3 days of pushing yourself, you start feeling guilty when you don't go because you feel so good when it's done. I have to get back on track with that immediately! When I don't go, it's almost like I can feel myself getting weaker.

I am so close to my 5 percent goal. I'm eating what feels best for me and keeps me feeling full, I'm not exactly counting for exact carbs, sometimes I'm sure it's less, and other days, I know I have to be over, but it even's itself out in a way. If I lost another 5 pounds this week, I'd be thrilled, but I have to get on the move with this exercising!!

Food Labels... smh

Today I made a quick stop at the grocery store, because I needed to grabbed a couple things and as I walked around Tops, I realize that they SUCK! But I swear it is just this store on the Island. I needed heavy cream and the 2 brands they carry were 1 super expensive $4.79 for a small one, and 2.59 for like a lunch box milk carton size you get in school! Also, I notice their store brand has 2 carbs per 1 tbsp, and the other brand has 1 carb per tbsp. Not a good selection. Needless to say I walked out with 2 cans of pizza sauce because they were but 1 get 1 free, and 3 packages of hamburger that were on sale.

Soooo... I ventured over to super wal-mart and bought the great value brand of heavy whipping cream which satisfyingly has 0 carbs per 2 tbsp- I think. Anyhoo... It was also cheaper which is one thing I am all about! 5 dollars for heavy cream is not my idea of a good purchase. I would rather waste the gas and drive to wal-mart and get the brands I know have less carbs and etc! I also used a couple coupons while I was there that were on their way to expiring this week, so I got ice cream and lemon ice for the OTHER members of family in this house, that eat normal.

I was in the ice cream isle checking out the CarbSmart Brand and what a joke! They advertise 3g of carbs on the front of the box for a fudge pop... then on the vanilla ice cream covered in a chocolate shell they advertise 5g carbs.... I start reading the label and the fudge pop actually has 8g of carbs and the other 7g of carbs... I decided that those 6 dollar bars were not worth the purchase because I wouldn't stop and eat one in a day... I'd probably eat all 5 in the box.

I went over to the diet section where they keep the atkins shakes and bars, and I looked, and a couple things caught my eye but their pricey! 8 dollars a box for tiny bars.

I wish I could find a store that carries CarbLite Bars. My mom lived on those when she did low carb... but they seemed to have disappeared. I remember how good they were because at 13 yrs old, I used to steal them and eat them for myself, even though they were expensive...lol I'll have to do some research and shop around!

Buffalo Chicken Wing Dip

It was my savior on Memorial Day (even though I did cheat with the cake, I followed everything else through)



INGREDIENTS:
 

8 oz. pkg. cream cheese, softened

1/2 cup blue cheese or ranch dressing

1/2 cup hot sauce

1/2 cup crumbled blue cheese or shredded mozzarella cheese

2 cans (12.5 oz. each) SWANSON White Premium Chunk Chicken Breast in Water, drained and shredded with fork.

DIRECTIONS:

 

HEAT oven to 350°F. Place cream cheese into deep baking dish. Stir until smooth.
MIX in salad dressing, Hot Sauce and cheese. Stir in chicken.
BAKE 20 min. or until mixture is heated through; stir. Garnish as desired. Serve with crackers, tortillas or vegetables.

Specifically with mine I used bleu cheease, and I used shredded cheddar instead of the mozzarella. I mixed it in, and also sprinkled a layer over the top. I used pork skins to dip.

So absolutely delicious!! and a life savor at any party!

Creamy Sugar free Jello

I like plain jello on hot days, but at night for a later evening snack I like I little bit heavier and creamier sweetness.

1 packet any flavor sugar-free jello
1 cup boiling water
1 cup heavy whipping cream

Add boiling water to packet of jello to dissolve, mix until dissolved. Then add the cup of cream, Give it a couple stirs and refrigerate. Its so yummy, and thick! It's a little heavier of a snack and keeps you full.

Choc-o-holic

I'm addicted to Sweets! There's no getting past it!

1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
1 tbsp cocoa powder
Splenda to taste

I put it in the bullet and blend it until its thicker than whip cream its like a chocolatey mousse that satisfies my chocolate craving. I eat it right from the container, and refrigerate the left overs and save for later. This is perfect for those chocolate cravings!!

delicious!

 

Five Percent Goal

I am so close to my 5 percent of my weight Goal. I can't wait to get there. I know it's only 11 pounds, but seeing that I'm only 3 pounds away make me want to work extra hard this week to drop those 3 pounds by next weigh In.

I'm also looking forward to filling up my calendar for working out since last weeks calendar is definitely looking a little bear!

I'm even excited about getting out the measuring tape and seeing how many inches I've lost.

The first week wasn't bad at all, I still feel guilty about the cake, but today I got right back on track like it was nothing. I'm very satisfied with this change. I have no complaints (except ice cream of course)!!!

I feel positive, which is a great thing!

Guilty Cheat Day... :/

With yesterday being Memorial Day, the family came over for a cook out. My family was kind enough to try to keep everything low carb for me.

I ate really well, I ate chicken Kabobs, and a hamburger with mustard, mayo, and a little red onion.

I splurged and had a corn on the cobb with butter (only 1 small one)- and it was so sweet and yummy!

Then, I splurged and cheated again for dessert. I had a slice of "pig pickin' " cake that my mom makes, it's yellow cake with mandarins and pineapple in it. The the frosting is made of cool whip, vanilla pudding, and crushed pineapple. It was so good, but I definitely paid for it! I guess my body isn't used to the sugar, because I had gotten the worst head ache after eating this cake. Then I got really tired. I literally had to lay down and close my eyes for a good 30-45 mins.

Today, I'm feeling guilty because I'm feeling a little sluggish. I won't even attempt to get on the scale since after all I do that that scale OCD. I also feel blah, like I'm bloated or something. So not in the mood for wearing anything other than sweats- even if it is well into the 80's degree weather!

I have errands to run, resumes to print, woodwork in my bathroom to finish painting, and then there is no questions about it- I HAVE TO GO TO THE GYM, or go out and ride my bike... or do something that is going to make me break a sweat! This sweat from it being hot, isn't it! I need to work out, I always sort of dread going, but once I go and it's done, I feel so much more accomplished and better about myself!

I suppose if I'm feeling extra ambitious today I'll even tape off my bathroom cabinet and paint it white. It should have been done... but I'm slacking and things need to get done around here!

Hope you all had a Happy Holiday.

Measurements {week 2}

Weight: 211.0

Neck: 13.25
Chest: 41
Bust: 39
Waist: 37
Hips: 48.25
Thigh: 26
Calves: 18.5
Upper Arm: 17

I'm definitely losing in inches... It's nice to see it in numbers when clothes are still fitting snug. For the first week, I also managed to lose 5 pounds, so I'm happy with that. The positive side is that even though I look at myself everyday and don't see the loss, my family tells me that can see where I have lost. That makes me feel good!

I honestly probably would have done better, but I totally skimped on the gym this week. I went Monday and spent the rest of my days doing work around the house. This week I'm definitely going to incorporate the gym, and of course riding my bike, and other little workouts as often as I can.

Gotta Believe :)

Oficially a whole Week!

I've managed to stay on a low carb diet for a full week, and the funny thing is... I'm full, and I hardly ever think about food. Every now and then I find myself wanting Ice Cream, which is something I normally wouldn't want to eat unless it was in the house or everyone was heading out to DQ.

I planned that tomorrow would be a day where I would cheat and go off and eat whats around, but I don't know if I will, my mom is planning to make things low carb for me, and I'm actually not so sure that I want anything other than what I've already been eating.

They say all it takes it 5 days to break an old habit and start a new one... and here I am 7 days later and very content!

Weigh In, and measurements to come tomorrow!

Atkins Revolution Rolls (Cream Cheese)

Ingredients:

3 eggs
1/4 tsp. Cream of Tartar
3oz Cream Cheese
2 packets splenda

Preparation:

1. Preheat oven to 300°F.
2. Separate eggs very carefully (make sure that none of the yolk gets into the whites.)
3. Spray Pam on a Teflon cookie sheet.**
4. Beat egg whites with cream of tartar until whites are stiff but not dry.
5. Fold in yolks, cream cheese and splenda*** (Be extremely careful not to break down the egg whites. Mix for no more than 1 minute.)
6. Place the mixture carefully on the Teflon cookie sheet, gently putting one tablespoon full on top of another until each “roll” is about 2 inches high. Repeat this until you have 6 piles.
7. Place the cookie sheet in the oven and bake for about 1 hour. (I did about 40 minutes)


OMG they are delicious and taste just like bread. I made some on a cookie sheet and some in a muffin pan, but the ones on the muffin pan look like puffy muffins...lol

some are very flat

side view of the muffin ones.

Brownie Heaven :)

So, I love sweets. There's no getting around it. I found this awesome recipe on-line that my mom told me about actually. She said she was reading it on her nook in some book she purchased. So I searched around the net, and I found it. SO SIMPLE TO MAKE TOO! LOVE IT

You'll never guess the ingredients in it either, you totally cannot tell at all!!

Low Carb Black Bean Brownies

Ingredients

1 can rinsed and drained black beans
3 eggs or egg substitute
3 tbsp. oil
4 tbsp. cocoa powder
pinch of salt
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 to 3/4 c. sweetener of choice (i use splenda)
sugar free chocolate chips and nuts (optional)



These are the things I used








cooking spray

 

Directions

mix ingredients together in a blender until pureed. Pour into greased 8 x 8 cake pan.
Stir in some sugar free chocolate chips and nuts if you wish. Bake at 350 approximately 30 min.
Makes a dozen.

Ready to go in the oven for 30 minutes

(I doubled the recipe and made them in a larger cake pan)

*update* after doing this, I probably wouldn't eat this again during induction. They are so good you can't eat just one. Their like a real brownie, but a fudgey chewier texture to them. The Goya Black Beans actually have 18g of carbs and 8 grams of fiber for a 1//2 cup. I will probably check out other brands and see what they have available. I ate a small piece and it was great definitely something to keep on hand when your having a chocolate attack.  I would say I had about 1/4 of a brownie. It was a pretty good size, so to look and the info at the bottom, I would say that's probably accurate.

This was on the site I got it off of so I'm not 100% sure it's correct pertaining to the brands of the ingredients I used.

Nutritional Info

• Servings Per Recipe: 12
• Amount Per Serving
• Calories: 91.4

• Total Fat: 5.0 g
• Cholesterol: 53.1 mg
• Sodium: 29.4 mg
• Total Carbs: 9.8 g
• Dietary Fiber: 3.1 g
• Protein: 4.5 g  

Night of Baking: Cancelled!

I had planned to test out 2 different versions of Atkin's Revolution rolls this evening, however my plan was cancelled since a friend and her daughter came over. I love kids, but wholly cow! I don't know if or when I'll be ready for a child... I have patience, but boy do I love silence too! haha This little girl is just too cute though! You can't help but love her.

Anyway, it was a good night. We sat around talking and laughing and looking up people on facebook (no we were not facebook stalkers) but looking up old ex's new girlfriends and people of the past can sometimes be funny, it was all in good fun and laughs.

We ate string cheese...LOL the appetizer of choice since I was low on entertaining foods, had I known in advance I would've looked up low carb friendly appetizers to whip up. I offered chips and what not, but she wanted string cheese too...lol

Tomorrow mornings plan is to definitely test out my recipes! I'm so looking forward to it!!

Staying away from the scale! Induction Day 5

I managed to stay away from the scale today. Kudo's to me for that one. I'm actually staying away because I ate a ton of Bacon yesterday, and because of the salt content in that choice of food, my best bet is to not get on the scale because that will be discouraging! That's where I always hang up is when the scale doesn't budge or it goes up...throws me completely off my game! But I also had a huge decrease in my appetite yesterday, so I was pretty much forcing myself to eat. My mom said I needed to eat otherwise I'd knock myself out of ketosis. She would know- she lost 30 pounds in one month going low carb.

I didn't go to the gym yesterday. I spent the entire day working around my house, and painting my bathroom. I officially have the walls done (what a pain in the butt color that was to paint!) and the other stuff primed. Today I'm going to paint the cabinet white along with the wood work around the door and window. I also have to touch up my white ceiling because I'm horrible at painting and kept hitting it with the red paint! After that, I'm done painting the bathroom...Amen! Then all I have to do is wait for my dad to come over and put the floor and floor moldings in place and hang up the mirror over the sink..and it's finished! Woo Hoo, one step closer to normal, organized living! 


Today I need to go to the gym... I need cardio and weights. I was going to go this morning, but I didn't I kind of bummed around the house today but that's okay. I have to run out to the store too. I found some recipes I want to try out, so I want to get the stuff and see how it goes. I suppose I could do this running around after my appointment at 1:30 for physical therapy. Thankfully this is my last therapy session! It's helpful, but so inconvenient to have to go 2 times a week when I'm in the middle of other things I need to be doing! 


I'm debating what I should do for food today. I don't know what I want or what I'm in the mood for... another lack of appetite kind of day I see it is going to be!


Today's Menu:


Breakfast:
1 Slice of cream Strawberry Banana Sugar free jello
Coffee with heavy cream & splenda


Snack:
1/2 of Mediterranean Chicken Breast


Lunch:
Mediterranean Chicken Salad
Caesar dressing


Snack:
Strawberry Banana Sugar free jello
 
Dinner:
 Taco Salad
Salsa
Sour Cream

Un-defeated Induction Day 4

I so badly wanted Ice Cream yesterday. Later in the evening I was craving it. I wanted Strawberry custard with rainbow sprinkles from this little custard place over on the West Side. Luckily, it's all the way over there, because I surely didn't want to drive there to get it.

I ended up going to Niagara Falls with a friend. :) I enjoyed myself. We went for a long walk along the water, and down through the trails to get to the falls. It's amazes me that something so beautiful is so local to me! Yet again, I was smacked in the face with Ice Cream Stands and all kinds of tourists with ice cream! Oh! It was horrible. Dippin dots, soft serve, milk shakes, etc! you name it, they had it. My friend kept asking me if I wanted to get some ice cream- I so innocently said no, that I couldn't have it because it wasn't in my diet... it killed me! I could feel myself pain as I walked in the opposite direction of these stands. I told my friend to get some if he wanted, but he decided against it because I wasn't getting any. I'm so proud of myself... I left without getting it, but boy I had to fight myself!! I realize its a mind game of course. How much stronger is my will power, then my mind and desire to fulfill a craving. It was hard, I won't lie- but I'm looking to see results, and if I can stick to this and change my life, then it'll be worth it!

Back to my scale OCD- yes I got on the scale when I woke up this morning, and the numbers were down...hmm I'm seeming to life this even more. I'm wondering what my measurements will be come Monday. It's sort of exciting... I just wish there was an alternative for ice cream!

Unfortunately, Memorial Day weekend is coming up. I've been trying very hard to think about how I am going to approach all these wonderful cookouts that I have been invited to. Some I can get by going low carb, because I'm very funny about what I eat when it comes to some people who cook them. I'm weird with mayonaise and chicken and grilling. I got food poisoning one year from chicken because my cousin let it sit out too long while marinating it before she threw it on the grill-- ever since then I sort of steer clear of some things everywhere because not everyone cooks, or cleans and washes their food like I do. I'll figure something out, but when it comes to my family cookout. That will probably be my cheat day. I want potato salad that my grandma makes. The worst in that will of course be the sugar from the relish and the miracle whip and the potatoes of course. Just a scoop full should do it, ohhh and then some. I hate to think about it.

Today's Menu:

Breakfast:
Kelly's Hot Flax Cereal (love this stuff its a weird consistency but its like a mix between oatmeal and cream of wheat- yummy)
4 Strips of Bacon
Coffee with heavy cream & splenda

Snack:
4 Bacon Strips

Lunch:
Mediterranean Chicken Salad
Caesar Dressing

Snack:
1 Italian Sausage
2 cheesecake clouds

Dinner:
Hot flax cereal (its so yum!)

Menu for 5/22/12

Food Menu:

Breakfast:
4 deviled eggs (2 whole eggs)
1 cup coffee with heavy cream
1 packet slenda

Snack:
2 deviled eggs (1 whole egg)

Lunch:
Salad with green onions
Bacon
Mediterranean chicken (flavored with lemon juice, oregano and garlic)
Bacon Vinaigrette dressing (left over from wilted salad)

Snack: 
lemon garlic butter broccoli
*note* I think I over ate on veggies yesterday, but I was craving the broccoli so I figured it would be ok. If its something good and healthy I feel my body is craving, then I must need some kind of nutrient from it.

Dinner:
10 chicken wings, plain
Medium Butter Sauce & Bleu Cheese on the side (used in moderation)

Drink MORE water! Induction Day 3

So far so good, but I really need to drink more water. For some reason I just can't get it in. I'm trying too! I need to get more in me...especially with the warmer weather I need to keep myself hydrated.

Eating wise, I have lots of great idea's and recipes. Some were definitely stolen from On Life, Love, and Low Carb Living (which is very motivational and inspiring by the way! All the great recipes and tips definitely inspired my low carb change). 

I didn't workout yesterday. For some reason I just wasn't in the mood, I couldn't get myself going in that department. I was too busy figuring out menu plans and what I was going to make for dinner and lunch and have handy for me to snack on. When I came home from running around with my mom, I spent most of my day in the kitchen preparing, and mixing up snacks. Pre-packaged and on-hand is super convenient!

I have to get some exercise is! I'm gonna head to the gym in about 10 mins and see what I can get accomplished for myself. I feel so guilty not going, and going is a must! I have to tone up these flabs and burn calories! I'm still sticking with my first weight loss goal of 5% (of 219.0) when I started... So I'm working toward it. I have a major OCD with the scale... I weigh myself nearly everyday... I think I need to hide it until it comes time next Monday to weigh in. I got on the scale today of course and I was down, but if I wait and weigh in like I'm supposed to on Mondays then maybe the loss will have more of an impact on me as well as satisfaction!

I'm trying to think of something I can do for myself for when I reach my 5% goal. Obviously not a food reward or a clothes reward. I'd like to stay away from buying clothes because there's so many that I already have that if I could just slim down would fit, plus I don't want to waste money on things that may or may not only fit temporarily once I continue to lose weight below my 5% mark.

Anyway- Off to the gym I go!

Deviled Eggs

Ingredients 

Hard Boiled Eggs 
Mayo 
Mustard 
Black Pepper to taste 
Paprika for garnish 
Sweet Pickles Sugar Free finely chopped

Preparation:

 Peel hard boiled eggs & halve. Empty hard yolks into a bowl & arrange empty egg whites on a serving dish. Mix egg yolks with all other ingredients & stir until smooth. Fill egg white halves with mixture & sprinkle with paprika for added color. Enjoy!

I just made these, and they are delicious. I didn't chop my sweet pickles though. I threw them in the bullet and chopped them that way- so much quicker!

Measurements (Week 1 Low Carb)

Neck 13.75
Chest 41.5
Bust 39.5
Waist 38
Hips 48.75
Thigh 26.5
Calves 18.5
Upper Arm 17

I've lost a little in inches. I'm pretty sure that it's because I have been working out. My weight was up 216.0... I'm not sure, could be my pig out at Applebee's on Friday, and then my pig out session on bread and potatoes at the Wedding, plus cake and tropical fruity mixed drinks. It's about time for my menstrual to come this week too, so it could be the water weight too. It's probably a number of things. Measurement wise i lost, but oddly enough I gained in the hip, either its bloating from my menstrual, or I measured wrong last week. In any case, I feel good about things.

This is what my Friday & Saturday looked like lol

There's hope for Starbucks!! Induction Day 2

Starbucks is probably one of my biggest screw ups. Their SO expensive too, but I can't help myself. I thought for sure once I started this low carb change that Starbucks was out of the question for me... but GUESS WHAT?!?!?! IT'S NOT!!!

My mom had the day off of work today, so we spent the morning together. It was her suggestion to go to Starbucks when I had did my best to put it out of my mind as thought it didn't exist. However, I walked in and saw an Iced Coffee with milk advertised on their little board... and I thought hmmmm... then it hit me... I'll have a tall iced coffee with heavy whipping cream instead of the milk- PERFECT! It's a winner!! I sweetened it up with a little splenda, and mmmm was it good! I know I probably could've made this drink at home for much cheaper, but at least I know something I can order when it comes time for a coffee date!

So, last night I couldn't sleep. I was so restless like I had tons of energy bottled up. Normally, I'm crawling up to bed, begging for the bed to be closer than it is. I don't know what the issue was, but I felt like I had energy.
Yesterday was pretty good. I was full all day, but sometime around midnight I got a little munchy attack, and satisfied it with some pork skins. But this is actually a lot easier then I thought.

Today's Menu

Breakfast:
1 cup coffee with splenda & heavy cream
2 scrambled eggs
Parmesan cheese, grated

Snack:
2 "cheesecake clouds" stolen from the recipe of Kelly

Snack:
Starbucks Iced Coffee with heavy cream & splenda

Lunch:
Creamy Tuna dip
Pork skins to scoop
2 cheesecake clouds

Dinner:
Wilted Lettuce salad

Snack:
6oz Super dieters tea, cranberry with sweet n' low (i generally drink this tea about one-two times a week when I'm dieting)

I also purchased some Ketone strips today, and tested for the heck of it. I'm in moderate ketosis, and it's only day 2.

Wilted Lettuce Salad

Ingredients:

• 1 head romaine lettuce, washed, dried and cut coarsely into pieces
• 1 package of bacon cut into pieces
• 1 bunch of green onions chopped
• 1/4 cup water
• 1/4 cup vinegar
• 3 tablespoons splenda (or less depending on your sweet tooth)
• Salt and pepper to taste

Preparation:

1. Place lettuce in a heatproof bowl. In a large skillet, fry bacon until  cooked. Fry bacon until crisp but not burned. Remove bacon from the grease in the skillet. Leave grease in the skillet on low heat. Add water, vinegar and splenda, and bring to a boil, stirring til everything is blended.
2. Pour hot vinaigrette over lettuce, add salt and pepper to taste and toss. Serve immediately.  (I personally don't like my lettuce wilted, so I actually let the grease vinegar and splenda mix cool before pouring it over my lettuce.) 

Super Yummy!!

Sweet & Creamy Tuna Dip

Ingredients:

• 8 Mt. Olive Sweet Gherkins No Sugar Added
• 1 block of Cream Cheese
• 1 packet of Tuna in Water (I use Chunk Light)

Preparation:
 
Chop up the sweet pickles, then combine the Cream cheese, pickles, and tuna in bowl. Once mixed serve with Pork skins... their great for scooping!

( you can cut the recipe in half, but I made the whole thing. My mom wanted to try it and I figure whatever was leftover I could refrigerate and use during the week)

The wedding, the food, Induction-Day 1

The wedding was beautiful... normally I never cry, but for some reason I found myself very emotional and crying over it, thankfully it was outside, so I hid my tears with my sun glasses....in the blistering hot sun. I have no pictures yet. But I do have a picture of me that I took myself.

I got my red dress on, snug and all. I thought I looked pretty... but was totally beat from that hour in the sun... I couldn't wait to get in the AC of the reception...

 Anyway, the food was good, I indulged in bread....bread bread bread...and then more bread. I think I was stuffing myself only because I knew it'd be a long time before I get a slice of that again. The cake wasn't the greatest wedding cake that I've had, and that is usually my sole purpose for going! However, it was good.

So... on to the good stuff... it's INDUCTION DAY 1. I have to say I think the food is so heavy that it makes me feel so full. Plus it's hot, and when it's hot out, I generally don't eat as much... So far, I have no complaints. The food is good, I feel full. I have lots of food choices around here (I went shopping today! and spent 152 bucks...but it should last me)

FOOD:

Breakfast:
Columbian Fair Trade Coffee
1 packet Splenda
1 Tbsp. Heavy cream
(at this point in the day- I had nothing to really eat- so it explains the weird morning combo)
3 Medium Chicken wings
1 Tbsp (approx, whatever was leftover in the container) bleu cheese
5 slices of Pepperoni

Snack:
B-B-Q Pork Skins

Lunch:
2 sugar free sweet pickles
Sweet & Creamy Tuna (I'll have to list the recipe)
Hand full of plain pork skins (used to scoop the tuna dip)

 Snack:
slice of creamy sugar free strawberry banana jello

Dinner:
Wilted lettuce salad with green onions and bacon

Yuck- to feeling better

After my big crazy meal for lunch yesterday, I am surprisingly feeling much better! I weighed myself, and I had a 1 pound gain...which isn't that bad for the amount of food I took in yesterday! OMG it was bad. I had a meal replacement shake for breakfast...trying to use them up before I do the switchover, then I had that enormous lunch at applebees, and dinner...nothing because I was still so full, and so sick from what I ate at 1 in the afternoon.

I woke up this morning. Still not even hungry or wanting to eat. I settled for a yummy cup of new coffee ordered from Kuerig. Maybe a small snack in a little while.

On another note, my right eye has been so sore the last 2 days. I think I'm getting a Sty. I blame in on my sparatic crying fits, and the exuberant amount of stress I'm generally under. However, little by little I feel like I'm getting myself together. I have so many plans for the summer, and so many places I want to go and see, and enjoy the outdoors... I'm ready to get this weight loss low carb kicked off!

I laid in bed last night thinking of some really great things I could do for this low carb change in my life. I have lots of ideas. I jot them down in a little notebook, so that I can come back to them, and look them up and remember them when I need to.

Today is my cousins wedding. The reception will be filled with wines, and mixed drinks with fruit juice, and lots of sweet full of sugar things. I'm excited because I love to get dressed up and go to fun little events like weddings and parties and basically any reason to get dressed up! But I'm also excited because after today is over, I'll be getting started on a low carb menu, and getting ready for the switch over on Monday. My last day for cake an sugary mixed drinks-tonight!

So looking forward to something new in my life!!

YUCK!!!!!

I went to lunch with a friend this afternoon, and INDULGED in everything bad... Unfortunately we ended up at Applebees... I place I haven't eaten at in well over a year. Yes, I ordered the Cowboy Burger with extra BBQ on the side, but before I got to that, I had a house salad with oriental dressing, and 2 Mozzarella sticks, then after the burger and fries still turned around and ate a Blondie...OH IT WAS GOOD, but boy do I feel like crap. The problem is I've eaten junk food here and there, but its all been double sometimes triple portions of 100 calorie snack packs of oreos and chocolate cookies, and maybe a bar or 2 or giant cookies and cream ice cream from the WW section of the aisle... and I did have a nutty butty here and there, but I haven't eaten this amount of YUCK in about a good month. I've eaten and cheated, but in very tiny amounts and ate portion sizes in moderation.

I can honestly say that right now, this very moment-I don't ever want to forget what this feels like. I feel so bad, and ready to take a nap from the amount of sugar.. I definitely have an abundance of sugar in my system, and my body is crashing... I can't say it enough... I feel TERRIBLE!!! Never again.

I was talking to my friend (who is also overweight) and we were discussing the problem we have with eating-- I was telling her about my plan to do low carb, and she was like NO WAY I NEED BREAD... I love bread, but honestly I could live without it. But on the flipside, she was telling me about a co-worker of hers who is doing low-carb, and lost 10 pounds the first week, and talks about how amazing and how much better she feels. Apparently this girl does it in 2 week increments. I don't know everyone has their own twist on everything, but I plan to research it more and modify things to my needs.

All I know, is I never want to feel like I feel right now. I have to shake this- flush my body with water or something. I feel so disgusting. I feel like I tried a drug, and I'm experiencing the BLAH from it. I've never done drugs, but caffeine... and this feeling I feel right now, is what I imagine it feels like coming off a high. UGH!!!!

I'd rather be in... bed!

First things first, PLAN. I thought I had this whole plan of what I was going to be doing and how I was going to reach the 5 percent goal loss I wanted, but truth is... I hate counting calories, I hate counting points, and most of all I hate keeping track and tallying them in the end. I do it... but it's not where I want to spend the little bit of time it takes to do!

So after much thought, and some research on the web and through many books, I've decided that I'm going to get on this low carb wagon and give it a whirl. I love my sweets, but after evaluating my eating habits and the little tracking diary of my foods for ww, i realize that most of my consumption is lettuce, and a lot of protein. I rarely eat potatoes, it's usually a special occasion, or somewhere out at a restaurant that my consumption is of potatoes. However, bread is where I fall short. I do love bread, but I really don't eat as much of that anymore either. The truth is, there's no balance or structure to what and how I eat. Classes are done, and I have much more free time on my hands. So it's going to definitely allow me to plan more for food, and get out of the house, instead of sitting around in a book or at a desk!

Exercising is going to be key to my overall goal. I have to push myself for more... I'm back going to the gym...sparatically, but definitely going, even when I have no desire or energy to do so. It's of course important for burning calories, but I really want to utilize the fact that it's always a way to tone the body. I'm tired of flab! I want to run... I've never been a runner, but I'd like to try to be. I have a lot of problems with my legs due to a car accident that I was in 7, almost 8 years ago... but even if it hurts... I want to run. That's the ultimate goal that I want to work myself up to in the exercise department. I have to start somewhere.

My focus right now is definitely my health. I want to shake this terrible tired, depressed, and un-energized person I carry around with me, and become who I know that I am. It's been a very long time since I have felt good.-- felt good about myself, the way I look, or even internally. I have to stay positive and motivated, and figure out what is the best for ME!

Blah kind of day...

Today wasn't really that bad. I got up fairly early and ran to take care of some errands.

I ate junk food, as is my normal problem. I can't say I had a good meal, I didn't  know what I wanted to eat, so I ate a little bit of everything trying to find something to satisfy me, and gave myself a stomach ache. I laid down and took a nap, probably the worst thing to do after eating, but I didn't feel well-all self induced of course, and managed to wake up with a headache. I moped around-- I don't know why when my day was alright.

 I forced myself to go to the gym tonight. I did 30 mins on the Arc and 30 mins on the bike... that was all I could take. normally, I'd do an hour on the arc alone... but i pushed myself all i could tonight.

I'm not sad, but I don't feel good either. This is where I fight the urge to turn to something comforting- food. Maybe I'll settle for a sweet peach mango crystal light, and go to bed. Sleep this dreary feeling off, and hope for a better tomorrow.

Morning Bike Ride

I went for a mid-morning bike ride. I went for about 30 minutes, along the water of West river. I live on the Island, so I'm surrounded by water. I actually felt a little self conscious about it too. I thought to myself what a fool I'd look like riding my bike by myself around. I hesitated, but said forget it...pulled on the bike and started pedaling down the street. I didn't go long. 1. I'm out of shape, and 2. Bikes weren't exactly made for girls, at least not heavy girls like myself- it's very uncomfortable in certain places!

Anyway, I've managed to add somethings to my blog. Apparently I'm not very blogger savvy at all. adding section tabs was a big improvement. I managed to do my measurements and post them! (cringe)- but hey I have to face the facts of what and who I am.

I keep tossing around the idea of staying on a structured program or going low carb. My problem is food. I love sweets, I love bread... I love all things bad for you! My mom once did Atkins when it was the new craze back in the late 90's. I remember she lost 30 pounds in a month. She and all the other girls in the hospital read the book, and carried the book, and did everything they were supposed to with the book. My mom was a cheat though. She did it full force M-F, and cheated Saturday and Sunday still managing to drop 30 pounds. How she did it, I'll never really know, but I wonder if I could do it and maintain it.

Weight watchers once had 2 different programs where it was the points program, and they also had a core program which was a modification of atkins, and south beach, but I guess they did away with that.

My goal right now is to lose 5% of my total body weight. I have another 6 pounds to go, and a dress to fit into next weekend for my cousins wedding. It's an old dress- I said I wasnt buying anything new, but I don't even know if I can fit in it. When I wore the dress last, I was around that weight when I bought it, so I'm hoping if I could just loose a little more I'll fit into it comfortably.

I have errands to run this afternoon, and an appointment with physical therapy. But, I plan on an evening at the gym. Sometimes I wish I had someone to go with me. A motivational partner, but part of changing my health, is changing the people around me that are toxic to my health, and I realize more and more that the friends I once called my friends aren't healthy to my life, they don't want the same things I want. They don't have the education I have, and we don't have much in common other than we grew up together, and we partied together. I've invited one of my friends many times to come work out with me- she is also a heavy girl like myself since shes always crying about her weight, she always says yes, then turns around and says no... then later cries that shes fat and no one wants her. She's an enabler, who never has time to change her situation. I'm exhausted enough let alone dealing with all of that. Anyway, I'm going to the gym for myself. I'm going to do this for me!

5 pounds

I'm still holding on and maintaining this 5 pound loss. 5.2 total. I skipped weighing in last week, because I'm sure it was up a bit because I was definitely off track. I woke up this morning and weighed myself.

I had plans to go to the gym and get a good workout in, however my day was completely ruined due to a stupid man in my life and a poor sick little brother. Once again my energy level went from 10 to 2. I'd like to lay down and take a nap. Eating has been slim today... that could be a good thing. I had a protein shake for breakfast, so I felt full- that probably could be why. I had a small lunch, and unfortunately for snack i had 4 oreo cookies... my addiction is junk food!

Tomorrow will be a better day. There is no other options!

Secrets of a Former Fat Girl...

I bought this book, on my excursion through the self help aisles at Barnes and Nobles that day. I started reading it today actually. It's about a woman who went from a size 16 to a size 2.

Now, personally, I don't want to be a size 2, and I'm more than positive that my body shape and style could never possibly look correct, healthy or appealing at a size 2. I was comfortable 5 years ago when I was wearing a size 8. I am currently a size 14-16 depending on the brand and make of the clothes I wear, and my shirt sizes are of course a L/XL. My problem is that my 14's are getting tighter, and I'm being forced into my once lose and comfortable fit size 16s where I'm probably about a sandwich away from being able to fit in those pants.

I read the first chapter of this book, and I'm actually intrigued. I have a terrible food addiction like the one the woman describes. I've had many days and nights where I've sat down in front of the tv, and ate a half gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream right from the container as well.

Step One: Forgetting Dieting.

She says that the beginning of her journey began by forgetting about her food addiction, and eating as she always had. She started exercising. Went to Aerobics classes, and did cardio, and still came home eating a tower of taco nachos with all the toppings and a pint of ice cream... and just by the push of exercise she made herself do, she went from a size 16 to a 12, without even changing how she ate. Maybe, I'm missing the bigger picture. I'm so busy trying to count the calories, and fats and fibers and points of the food I'm putting in my mouth, and TOTALLY slacking on the fact that exercise is what burns all those points and calories going into my mouth. I love food. There's no way around it. I love to make it, I love to cook it, I love to smell it, taste it and eat it.

I need to MOVE IT TO LOSE IT. I think I may actually try this approach. I'm not going to count points or calories or any of that junk anymore. I'm going to focus on portion control. I'll monitor the size, but not the calories. And, I'm going to workout. I definitely have the time to do it. So working out, exercising, burning calories is key!

I actually feel motivated. That's always a good thing!

Weigh In Pass

I took a weigh in pass today, as Sunday is my normal and usual day for weighing in, with the stress I've been under and the way I've been eating. I said I was gonna skip it until next Sunday when this last week of school is over.

My grandparents came by, they said I looked like I've lost some weight- I of course question where because I have yet to see it or feel it.

Ive been trying to stay on track, but One of my downfalls is of course Starbucks. Oh how I love Iced Caramel macchiato's in the summer. But it's ok, I'll take every point value in store because I enjoyed every sip of it!

I found this picture of myself on a friends facebook this evening, and I thought it didn't look so bad of me. It's probably the most recent picture I've taken out in public in almost 2 years. It's ok, but I could really ford to lose 40-50 pounds and be healthy. When I find some time for myself, I'm going to sit down and do my measurements and work on this page. I'd just like to get through finals this week, and hopefully prioritize! Well, back to studying for the rest of the night.

Food... :)

Well, I've search high an low for a marinade that would be enjoyable. I think I've finally found one. I've bought tons of store bought bottles that say ":marinade" and they just don't do it for me. There's something about the ingredients... its either oily or I don't know. I've just never liked them. I of course did the other thing that everyone does, marinade my chicken in Italian dressing, but again.. I found more and more that it gave it a weird taste depending on the brand of Italian. I found a little recipe for something so simple. It was called Mediterranean Chicken. It was great, I kinda of just eye balled the ingredients because I had a lot more Chicken to marinate than the recipe. But it consisted of lemon juice, crushed garlic, and dried oregano with a little salt and pepper to taste. I LOVED IT! And the good thing about it, there's no point value, or oil to soak up! I will definitely be keeping all the simple ingredients on hand because I'm positive I'll be using it again!

I'm finding more and more as time goes on, that I thoroughly enjoy home cooked, home-made. I'm even eating those boxed frozen meals less and less trying to come up with a way to eat healthier. However, I still do love my comfort foods! The one's I turn to when I'm down, of course. Food has always been my enemy. I'm literally addicted to food. It's not exactly like smoking or drinking either, I can't ween myself off and stop for good. However, I do have to make better choices. I still love my sweets. Love sweets! I can't express that enough... but I do really enjoy the WW giant cookies and cream ice cream bars. Oreo's are one of my addictions- so this takes care of that wonderfully. The problem I'm not trying to conquer is chocolate chip cookies. I need a low fat, low sugar way of making those! I remember when I could and used to eat an Applebee's triple chocolate melt down nearly everyday of the week, do you know how many calories are in that thing???!! I haven't had one in so long, I try to forget they even exist, in fact it'll be a death wish, and a huge gain because I'll be craving and wanting them all the time again. I would say it's been over 2 years since I've eaten one, and I'd really like to keep it that way.

On to another Topic...

I went to my Gyn appointment yesterday, it was a follow up to see how my body was doing and how I've been feeling since my ectopic pregnancy in January. I try not to think about it, I just insist that God has more in store for me right now, and had my best interest when he, unlike myself, knew what I'd be getting into with going to Nursing School. Of course, at 26 years old, I'm being lectured by this old feeble man about birth control selection and abstinence... then of course, he hits me with... "YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE WEIGHT!".... Now yesterday the doctors scale showed I was up from my 5 pound loss, and I probably am because of the stress I am under with finals, and of course *emotions* makes me turn to food for comfort! Now, I won't lie... the last time I was in that office my weight was 228.2 Now, with that being said I was also pregnant and going through severe severe...SEVERE pain, and my body was all out of whack with all of that, so yes my weight was up there, but HELLO, could u acknowledge that since then my weight has dropped 12 pounds. PLEASE! I'm a work in progress, and I take every bit of loss a day at a time. It's hard to break habits, and make positive changes. I'm taking the step to change my life... and I have to work at it everyday.

I finally bought a tape measure to take my measurements. I'm going to put on the brave face, and post current pictures, and list my measurements, as well as any weight loss progress I make.

I also want to change this page layout, but I'm not so blog savvy...haha So once I figure that all out, hopefully I'll have a better more organized set up to my blog!

Mini-Goals

Well, In all I have lost a total of 5 pounds. As always, I am a work in progress. I'm still such an emotional eater! uggggh it's so frustrating. I sabotage all my hard work with the stress I am faced with in my everyday life. Other than TOM visiting, and always causing trouble... I had a week of hell with studying for finals and completing last minute Assignments. I finished my assignments none the less, and I took one of my finals yesterday, and of course it's a waiting game. This class was so hard! Nursing school is going to be the death of me, I'm sure... among other things.

I haven't been to the gym in forever, I am so exhausted from school it's ridiculous! Thankfully I have been out of work the last 2 weeks because of my wrist injury, so I've been able to focus on my schooling, but of course now, there's a financial burden. Either way there's going to be a financial burden because I am going to need to look for another job- one that is willing to work with my hectic class schedule.

I'm doing weight watchers, as I officially decided, but I'm wondering if that was the best choice for me. I guess, because it gives me the choice to eat what I want at the cost of a point value... but I'm just wondering how long I can really stick to it.

I've realized that I have a few problems.

1. I eat a lot of take-out... that truthfully is my trouble. I'm tired, and have no energy to prepare meals, so I'm always at a drive through or calling to place an order somewhere that I can swing by on my way home. I need to set my limits with thing dining out, ordering out, non home cooked meals! I've been using smartones meals which actually work out great for me, butt of course, I look at them, and it's not exactly always what I'm in the mood to eat. Sometimes I'd like to take the time to cook and prepare rather than throw a meal in a microwave. But unfortunately that is the time I have. I work 4 days a week 12a-10a, and come home and sleep the day away, and then grab whatever is convenient around the house to eat in between running my errands or cleaning the house and what not, and the endless laundry I always have. So, with that being said. My goal is to eat at home. Whether it be home cooked, or from a frozen meal box, I need to eat at home.
Goal # 1- Eat at home. If I eat out at all, it will only be 1 meal, 1 time a week.

2. I'm finding less and less time to go to the gym that I pay a very expensive membership for. Well, I won't say that- My job did put $250 toward it but I am still left with the $250 balance. I need to find a way to go as often as I possibly can.
Goal # 2- Utilize my gym membership as many times a week as possible. A minimum of 3 days.

3. I can't ever seem to express it enough- I AM TIRED!!! I need to prioritize the best ways I know how, and tackle all jobs one at a time, and as much as I am able to. I'm currently studying about rest and sleep, and as my current status in life holds, I am 1. At a higher risk for health problems pertaining to weight (check!)... 2. At a high risk for suffering depression (check!) 3. At a high rate of suicide attempts (I'm not there yet, but I could see where it could lead to that.
Goal # 3- The idea is to take some time for me. Find something relaxing, that will clear my mind, de-stress, and re-energize!

4. I don't drink enough. I can see a lot of signs and symptoms in my body and health of dehydration. Weight Watchers requires 6-6oz glasses of fluids. Now, I've always known it to be that we are supposed to obtain at least 64 ounces of water a day. This is fine, However, while watching Dr. Oz one morning he insists that you should be consuming half your body weight in fluids to flush the body of toxins and so on and so forth. Which, I guess in all makes sense. I don't drink nearly what I should. I've cut back on soda a lot. I've been trying to consumer more water...but it needs work.
Goal # 4- Though this is giving away my weight- I guess the ideal is for me to consume at least 106 ounces of fluid for the day.

Some way, some how, I will figure out a way to become focused. I am going to do everything I need to to get my life in order... I have some mini goals set to work on, and I plan to give it my all this go round.