Dependency

I literally depend on food... It's sad.

My family ordered out for dinner tonight. I made myself a salad- lettuce, green beans, and greek style chicken with olive oil and vinegar for dressing. I'm content, but the temptation of Pizza and chicken wings are starring me down right now. It's horrible. I know low carb I can go ahead and eat the chicken wings with some blue cheese.....BUT, yes there is a BUT... I am at my calorie limit for myself.

I exercised, but I do not want to eat my calories burned!! I feel like an addict going through withdrawal and sadly enough... it's true. I am 100% addicted to food. I'm not hungry, but the fact that it's all sitting there and I can smell it just makes me want to eat it.

I was skinny once, I visualize myself as a size 8 that I once was- and instead I went for a 5 calorie sugar free jello and a little bit of homemade heavy whipping whipped cream. AND WATER!!!!! Oh it is so hard. I hate that it's this way... I wish this was easy for me.

I also remind myself, that though I am restricting my calories, I am not focusing on the number on the scale.... though it has it's perks, I am reminding myself of the benefits and the inches that are being lost through this restriction and exercise.

I did 30 mins on the treadmill, and did some arm weights. It was a start. The fact that I pushed to do it is good for me. I wanted to give up at 15. That's how blah I am about working out. I have to find a way to make it fun, I just hate the treadmill though... that's why I'd like to invest in an elliptical

One more week of induction... then I can start to incorporate a little more.

I'm still waiting for the urge to eat the pizza and wings to pass.... I'm trying to fill up on water. I even had a snack and went a little over my calories....

I tested my level of ketosis and I am in Moderate. I rarely get there, so I guess I am doing pretty well.

I am not going to let this control my life- I'M NOT HUNGRY!!! It's just habit, and food is always so good to me!!!

I'm thinking I will be making a pot of my delicious Sausage Kale Soup. That usually lasts me enough to eat for the week, so a trip to the grocery store is in order. The good thing about this, it also keeps me full. and it's all veggies, except the sausage of course.