Dependency

I literally depend on food... It's sad.

My family ordered out for dinner tonight. I made myself a salad- lettuce, green beans, and greek style chicken with olive oil and vinegar for dressing. I'm content, but the temptation of Pizza and chicken wings are starring me down right now. It's horrible. I know low carb I can go ahead and eat the chicken wings with some blue cheese.....BUT, yes there is a BUT... I am at my calorie limit for myself.

I exercised, but I do not want to eat my calories burned!! I feel like an addict going through withdrawal and sadly enough... it's true. I am 100% addicted to food. I'm not hungry, but the fact that it's all sitting there and I can smell it just makes me want to eat it.

I was skinny once, I visualize myself as a size 8 that I once was- and instead I went for a 5 calorie sugar free jello and a little bit of homemade heavy whipping whipped cream. AND WATER!!!!! Oh it is so hard. I hate that it's this way... I wish this was easy for me.

I also remind myself, that though I am restricting my calories, I am not focusing on the number on the scale.... though it has it's perks, I am reminding myself of the benefits and the inches that are being lost through this restriction and exercise.

I did 30 mins on the treadmill, and did some arm weights. It was a start. The fact that I pushed to do it is good for me. I wanted to give up at 15. That's how blah I am about working out. I have to find a way to make it fun, I just hate the treadmill though... that's why I'd like to invest in an elliptical

One more week of induction... then I can start to incorporate a little more.

I'm still waiting for the urge to eat the pizza and wings to pass.... I'm trying to fill up on water. I even had a snack and went a little over my calories....

I tested my level of ketosis and I am in Moderate. I rarely get there, so I guess I am doing pretty well.

I am not going to let this control my life- I'M NOT HUNGRY!!! It's just habit, and food is always so good to me!!!

I'm thinking I will be making a pot of my delicious Sausage Kale Soup. That usually lasts me enough to eat for the week, so a trip to the grocery store is in order. The good thing about this, it also keeps me full. and it's all veggies, except the sausage of course.

Sunday Funday...NOT

But on a brighter note... I weighed in this morning and am down a total of 6 pounds in 1 week, thanks to Atkins Low Carb plan, and the Body by Vi meal replacement shakes. Love Love LOVE the plan I am following. Feeling full and losing!!! Is always a wonderful feeling!

My Savior! Breakfast and Lunch

So Today starts exercise 101. I hate to exercise. Well, I shouldn't say I hate it, I just have a hard time getting motivated to do it...but once I get into a routine I feel guilty when I cheat myself and eat bad or don't go to the gym or workout at all. I'm starting with the basics. I'm trying to get down this whole exercise thing. I know people divide their body groups up for muslce strengthening, but I have yet to figure that out. I know there's purpose behind it, I'm just not exactly sure when it comes to someone like me, who maybe makes it to the gym 3 times a week. 

Gotta Move it to LOSE IT!!

I cleaned my basement and made a workout area down there with my set of 5 pound weights, and my treadmill. I'd like to invest in an elliptical too, maybe soon. I also have my body ball, and my resistance bands so I am good to go. I am going to aim for going to the gym 3 days a week since it's so hard for me to go- I have to force myself, but now I have no excuse since yesterday I worked my butt off and got my "area" together. I have to do it at home too. I should be able to get at least 5 days out of working out. I just have to set my mind to it.

I think a lot of my problem is that I am in denial. When I think of myself, I still sort of see the person I used to be, wearing the size 8 jeans. Then, I look at myself in the mirror and I see the reality. I ask myself- How the heck did I get here. 239.0 pounds.

I have to remind myself that this isn't just a diet. It is a lifestyle... So when I get discouraged... I CANNOT GIVE UP. However, I am definitely feeling motivated and excited!!

Myfitnesspal App!

I started really using this app, and I love it!! I've had it on my phone for quite sometime and used it occassionally when I was following WW, but I love it for what I'm doing now. Body by Vi, is actually already programmed in, so I just search and select!

I've been on track ALL DAY. and logging all my progress. I love it. It counts everything right now to the amount of carbs I am eating so I love that it is so easy to for me to now not only keep track of my carbs, but all I get to keep track of my calories. It gives me the usual 1200 calorie program, but I am still aiming for about 1500 because that's what Atkins is saying I should follow. The shakes for breakfast and lunch have a high content of fiber, so I am pleased with that, and they have a low carb and calorie content.

I love this program though!!! Sunday is now my new weigh in day hence I started my new program last Sunday. I was 245.2 When I weighed and started. I was down 5 when I last weighed in so hopefully when I weigh tomorrow I will still be down that 5 pounds. I also have My Biggest Loser Weigh In, On Wednesday. I am hoping I can keep myself down on the scale.

Follow Me on Myfitnesspal

azwelling or find me through my email Sweetness439@aol.com

Body By Vi: 90 day challenge

I received my order from Body by Vi, and I started it yesterday... the shakes are very yummy and very filling. Definitely worth the money. I use them for replacements for Breakfast and lunch and I have a healthy snack in between my meals (all still low carb). I would say in all I am doing well. After doing Low carb I am back down 5 pounds (240) I'm still working on getting back under 240- which was just a few short weeks ago that I was... But for some reason I fell off the wagon and gained it all back! I love the shakes, and I love the low carb way, the only thing is I'm kind of missing fruit strangely enough. But I am working my way up to Phase 2. I have one more week of induction, so I am hoping for maybe another 3-5 pounds during this week. Sunday starts week 2, so I am also going to get in my exercising routine's as well.

I cleaned an area of my basement today. I think it looks fabulous and I turned it into my gym area. My goal is to see if I can get down there very early in the mornings for at least 20 minutes, and of course keep using my gym membership, which I haven't been using.

March is hitting in just 5 days. I don't know where the time has gone. I have My biggest loser challenge weigh in coming up next week, so at least I'm confident I will be down some for that. I also have monthly measurements coming up on March 1st. Hoping to see some differences, but if not- it's my own fault, and I am back on track.

I have a lot of errors with low carb though. I may eat as close to 20 carbs as possible, however I'm only staying in "Trace" ketosis... I really never get any higher than that though. I should probably go for more protein, but I KNOW for sure I definitely overeat in my caloric intake. I should be trying to stay between 1500-1800, but I know this past week I've gone over, and thats because I do a lot of mindless eating in front of the t.v. During the day isn't so bad. When I'm in class, I'm not so much tempted to run to food at Tim Horton's in the cafe area, or to the vending machine. It's when I'm home, I can't keep myself from snacking and eating. I eat at night too, and the worst part about it, at night I am not even hungry. I just eat BECAUSE i can. I downloaded an app called "panic button" and you hit the button and its a 15 minute timer that time's your craving or need to eat junk. I'm going to see if that will help me. They say it takes less than 20 mins to get over the temptation to eat. So hopefully it will work for me. I'm pulling out all the stops this time!

I'm still working on drinking plenty of water, but it's 50/50...some days good, some days bad. I'm working on it.

So far so good :)

I'm doing pretty good thus far. I've been reading different forums on eating Low Carb, and there are a lot of different information out there. I'm trying to steer clear of anything sweet, including sugar free jello for today. I read where it can possibly hinder results as far as weight loss in some people. I am also limiting myself to only 3 packets of splenda today, and not drinking any soda. I'll stick to my one cup of coffee and WATER!!

I only have 5 weeks left in my Biggest Loser challege, so I need to really get on it and stay focused.
I read in a couple different forums that during induction you shouldn't really exercise, but If I am going to get close to or win the challenge, I am going to have to get movin and groovin!! One girl in the challenge is already down 16 pounds. She follows WW, and is a total gym rat. She has a couple different gym memberships and goes before work, after work and when she's bored.

I'm a total grazer and constantly eat throughout the day big meals, small meals, snacks etc. Today I am going to try to stick to proteins, less carb staying as close to 20 as I can, and trying to keep a track on my calorie intake. I read 1500-1800 but I think I would like to stay as close to 1500 as possible too. I feel pretty good. Not so tired. I need to go to the grocery store though so that I can stock up on some essentials for low carb. Now that I've gotten past missing carbs, I think I can go for a couple meal replacement bars and shakes on the atkins line.

I also invested in Body by Vi. They have AMAZING protein shakes that only have 2 grams of carbs and are absolutely delicious. They're a little pricey but I referred 3 people to also purchase, so now after paying for my first kit for 99.00 every order I get there after is free. I am definitely looking forward to it because they taste like cake! Yum. I hope to receive them soon so I can get started.

 I have a lot to look forward to. I need to kick my butt into gear with exercise. I have a gym membership and I have equipment to use at home.

Typical...

The terrible thing about WW and I is that I go go go... and then I hit a point where I continuously follow through and start to gain weight. I don't know what it is, so the last week and a half I have not been good or following anything because I started gaining and only eating what I was allowed to eat!

I started reading the book about Atkins once again and I found many errors of my ways in my last attempt. So I am going to give it a go this time and track my carb values. But until I go grocery shopping, I am just using what I have in the house.

DAY ONE of INDUCTION:

Breakfast:
3 eggs w/ 1 tbsp half and half (.5 c)
2 bacon strips
coffee w/ 2 tbsp  half and half & splenda (2 c)