Tired Tuesday... and the cabbage soup diet?

I didn't sleep well last night. Most likely because I was stressing about my test this mornng. I think I did ok, but I definitely could've done better.

I am so tired today- the more tired  I am, it seems the more mindless things I do. All I seem to think about is food, and when and what I am going to eat- even when I'm not hungry.

So far, my day has not been the best of decisions. I've ate junk and made some unconscious decisions along the way.

7:00 AM: Stopped at Starbucks for a Grande Salted Caramel Mocha with an extra shot of espresso and 1 1/2 pumps of chocolate.

9:00 AM: Went to Tim Horton's with Brittany on break after the test to get her some breakfast. It was supposed to be for her, and I ended up with a sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit, with a bottle of water.

12:00 PM: Taco Tuesday at School- Large Beef and Cheese White soft shell taco with lettuce, tomato, and hot sauce- diet coke.

Majority of my caloric intake has been in the last 5 hours. That's a big consumption for a 5 hour period of time. I'm not happy with it, but I'm glad I am taking note to the things I am doing. I definitely need to start making these things change.

So, I'll have dinner someting light and small, and a sweet snack cuz I'm a sweet addict, like a low calorie cereal bar just to satisfy my sweet tooth, but I'm thinking it is going to be a salad tonight- if I'm even hungry.

Exercise is definitely called for. I walked 1 mile yesterday- I'm thinking I will do the full loop of the street tonight- that equals to be about 2.03 miles, and possibly some other things that I can do at home.

I'd like to use my gym membershit 2-3 days a week since it is paid for. Then I won't feel too bad about it going to waste.

I've been reading different things that people are doing, and I've heard of this many times, but I've noticed people are doing this Cabbage Soup Diet- whats the deal with that? I looked it up- it seems easy enough.... any input or thoughts on that? Please let me know.

September...

Today was the last weigh in for September, and I was unsuccessful in any kind of loss, in fact- I gained 4 ounces. I suspected this would be the case, I actually expected more, but I'm happy it was not the case. Soooooooo with that being said. Next weigh in is October 1st, and it's gonna be time to put my best foot forward. I am making my own halloween costume for a party on the 27th, I know it's not a huge difference in appearance but I am going to work very very hard to lose 4 pounds this month and keep it off, I know people are probably like 4 pounds, seriously? Yes seriously- the tricky part for me is keeping it off!!! I'm hoping for October to be a better month than September was. I'm doing really well in school, but probably because I'm not working. My parents decided it'd be best if I didn't work this year and finish this schooling up, and get a job in the summer when it's over! So I'm happy with that, though I wish I had some income for little extra things I like. So, that gives me more time to do something about this getting healthy part of my life... Eating better, planning meals, organizing my life, and EXERCISE!

Food Diary:

Breakfast:
2 eggs, scrambled
1/2 Banana
Coffee
2 tbsp. coffee mate

Snack:
Grande Salted Caramel Mocha

Lunch:
1 Sesame seed roll
2 slices turkey
1 slice ham
2 slices lorraine swiss (my favorite mmm)
1 tbsp mayo
1 tbsp spices sub oil
1 cup BBQ frito's
4oz Canada Dry Ginger Ale

Dinner:
1/2 Chicken Souvlaki w/ feta
1/4 Greek dressing (its a lot, but it was poured over the entire salad, not just the portion i ate)
8oz Cherry Coke

In all, eating today wasnt so great. I should've probably made some better choices given I could've skipped sodas for bottles of water. Tomorrow will be better

Walked 1.09 miles today.

EDIT (9/25)
Last night I was stressing about my test at 8am, and without even realizing it, I went to the kitchen for a drink and ate 4 Oreo's and a Brownie- NOT GOOD, that is my comfort, coping mechanism in most situations. That needs to stop- I need to stop and think before I put something in my mouth!!!

Where does the time go?

Days used to seem like they lasted forever. Now, they fly by so fast. It's already the end of September, and I haven't had much success. I get motivated, and then I lose it! Fact is, I have to force myself. I need to force myself to drink water, force myself to exercise, and force myself to eat better. I make little changes here and there, buying low fat, light or fat free instead of the regular brands... but its not enough.

Last week I had a 4.0 pound gain and I have no idea why! I know i wasn't exercising, but I surely was not eating badly and when it came time to weigh in I was up 4.0 pounds, those are the days I throw in the towel and say the heck with it, and eat bad- just like I did this past week. Now I'm feeling like crap. Now I feel sluggish, run down, and blah! Tomorrows weigh in and I'm expecting a gain, so I won't be too disappointed when the numbers go up.

Tomorrow starts a new week, so I'll be making the effort to once again make better choices, and I have to exercise. I'm going to try to walk for 30 mins everyday. I need to do something.

Pray for me!

*sigh*...

I often look and read other people's blogs, and it makes me want to try the plan they follow. Everyone seems to be doing weight watchers, then I remember what my point limit is, and I look through the book, and look up the things I like to eat, and then I get disappointed and discouraged when I see how much some foods are in points! One meal I love and only get occasionally is the famous bowl from KFC- 17 points... and then I get fed up.

I love the idea of low carb because I felt better and full, and had energy, and I'm a meat eater- so it was great! Then there came the issue of summer and wanting ice cream, and I love bread and potatoes and so many of the forbidden carbs!! I got discouraged there when the avg person lost 9-10 pounds the first week...and me, I only lost 5, and then maybe 1 pound there after.

What to do, what to do.... It's always the issue. I love food, but how can I possibly cut back on my caloric intake, and increase my exercise?? I just don't know. I start off my day pretty well, then by mid afternoon, I'm way off track. I have to figure out what will work for me, and being able to eat what I like, but in moderation instead of settling for "diet foods"- I ordinarilly don't eat rice cakes, so why waste the money on them when they just sit in the cabinet- oh yeah, i forgot i read a plan that said they were good for a snack. I need to eat better well balanced meals, I know. But it sucks!

Anyhoo, I won't stress over that right now. I'll figure something out.

I was hired for a job- I went yesterday to the orientation, and well- lets just say that job is completely and totally not for me. After discussing it with my parents, they said to let the place know, I won't be working for them. I came home, and ate myself into a food coma because it stressed me out so bad, and as an emotional eater thats what I did! The schedule they wanted me to work, on top of nursing school was out of this world. I get out of class at 4:30 on some days (today for example) so they wanted me to work from 5pm until 12am, all throughout the week. Mind you I have 8am classes, and 7am clinicals, so after being expected to work until 12am, I would still have to come home and do homework or study and then be expected to get up at 5:30 in the morning to get ready and make it to my 7am clinical. They said a bunch of times they'll work around my class schedule, great! but do you know anyone in nursing school, or who has gone through nursing school? it's not the average college curriculumn. It is severely time consuming, and entails a lot of reading, research and work! With a schedule like that during the week- WHEN DO I HAVE TIME TO SLEEP?!!!!??? This was one of the problems last semester, other than some personal issues, I worked a full time overnight job which severely interfered with my grades. I need something simple, I don't mind working the weekends, but give me a break. I am by no means at all Super Woman. I'll look for something else in the meantime, maybe a little restaurant or coffee shop, or something like that. Something that allows me to leave at a reasonable hour and still have time to do homework and gives me time for myself.

Since I'm only dealing with school at the current moment, that will definitely give me time to work on getting healthy and finding different activites that I will enjoy and allow me to drop some pounds, lose some inches, and get fit. Getting healthy and working out can be a full time job in itself, let alone everything else I am trying to do.

Just for now, I am trying to set a small goal. I want to get out of the 200's. My effort is going to focus on getting out of that range of numbers, and I say small because I don't totally have that many pounds to lose to get there, but I want a 1 starting my weight, NOT A 2!! I ultimately want to get healthy and feel better, so weight loss isn't my exact focus, but it will be a big plus. I have some health issues, and I need to build myself up, so those issues don't get out of hand.

Well, off to class. Hope you all have a fabulous weekend!

Morning Workout

I did this workout this morning. It sure woke me up!! It was a little difficult for me because as I've mentioned before, I'm very out of shape. Not too bad though. I only had to take one break, but the regular push ups is something I cannot do, and have never been able to do, even in gym class as a child. I also have trouble with the thrust part at the end of the video but I did as much as I could do. I definitely worked up a sweat, and felt good when it was all done with.

I'm trying to do my best to incorporate as much as I can, when I can.

I still have my scale obsession. I need to hide it, I weigh myself everyday. I was up a few ounces which of course is disappointing, but yesterday, I didn't eat so well, and didn't drink enough water.

Today is a new day to do better!

Never Let Your Memories Be Greater Than Your Dreams...

I spend so much time hanging on to the size 8 jeans that I used to fit. They have some sort of memory that I hang on to when I felt good, and thought I looked good. Then I became the size I am now- somewhere between a 14 and a 16 depending on the day, and well, you know how it goes. I made the decision to get rid of alot of that old stuff. Infact, I threw them in garbage bags and sent them to my Aunt's house for her kids to wear. I didn't do it because I'm saying I'll never be that size again, I did it because I will be there again. I have to make changes. I'm so quick to give up when I'm tired, and want what I want.

I barely drink soda anymore. Once in a while I do, just because I love a pop with certain foods. I drink water, though I drink no where near enough, I make it a point to carry a water bottle with me, pretty much anywhere I go, so that I always have it with me, and not tempted to buy something from the corner stores, or the vending machines. I'm a coffee addict too. I can't seem to function without it.

I spend so much time looking at these quick easy methods where your "supposed" to drop weight quick... But I've come across a few blogs where people are losing, and show and talk about their struggles, and set backs but their still going for it. It's motivational. I need to be stronger. It's so easy for me to say oh I'll eat it now, and tomorrow I'll be better. Those habits and tendencies need to stop.  So.... I'm going to set a couple goals for the rest of the week until my weigh in on Monday.

Goals:

1. Drink at least 3 (16.9 fl. oz) bottle of water a day
2. Exercise at least 30 minutes 3 times.
3. No fried food.

I'm not going to set a "weight loss goal"- I'm just happy with losing whatever will be lost with the changes that come. 

One of those days...

I was up late last night studying for my first test of the semester. I don't think I did too terribly bad... the first test is just one of those things you either ace or bomb because you don't know what to expect from the professor, and their testing style. I may be going out on a limb, but I'm going to say I'm in the range of 80's.

I wasn't much in the mood for getting out of bed this morning either, so I look like total crap. Threw on some sweats, and ran out the door, hair pulled back in a messy pony tail, and no make up on- thats a rarity, however, the sweats are an everyday thing for me. None of my jeans seem to fit anymore.

On my way out of the house, I ran into my mothers room to grab something and stopped and looked in her mirror, and took notice to how incredibly large I look. I always say to myself, I'm not that big... but after looking in her mirror I was like NO WAY. I was in a groggy waking up process, but still- I know what I saw, and what I seen was NOT pretty. No wonder my clothes don't fit me. This is the real deal!

I did some plank exercises that were recommended by a fellow blogger/reader, and let me tell ya- I only did what I could handle, because I am completely and utterly out of shape to the max. I'm almost a little embarressed because I watched the video saying to myself, "oh this won't be too bad- quick and easy" Quick maybe- easy, not so much, in fact, my abdominal muscles are slightly sore today- not overwhelmingly sore, but enough for me to feel it a little when I move in certain directions. That's a good thing. I will have to continue with those, if I am going to make some changes.

I have to make a lot of changes overall. My McDonalds Bagel Breakfast was not the best choice, but I ate it and enjoyed every bite of it too. It sucks to love food, and suffer the outcomes of gaining the weight, and hating to exercise.

Oh well, on with the rest of my day!
Hope you all have a good one!